A lady that I have been seeing, I can't figure out her boundaries, there seems to be so many of them. I don't know what I can and cannot share with her, and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I just seem to irritate her a lot, even when I compliment her, and it hurts me when she is curt with me. Sometimes she is warm, but often she is detached and I don't want to deal with it anymore. Warm one time and cold the next, it's too confusing, it's too Buddhist like.
Whatever her boundaries and rules are, I can't figure them out. So I put a boundary at the end of my driveway, I figure that way I won't cross any of hers and piss her off. Maybe what she needs is some mostly cold bastard that isn't affectionate and only touches her when he wants sex. I don't know what she needs, and I'm tired of trying to figure that out also. I don't know what she wants/needs, and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I don't know that she knows what she wants/needs. Not to mention that she can't, or won't give me what I need, a hand to hold. I’m not sure that she has ever held any mans hand, and at her age maybe it’s too late for her to learn. Can’t do that unless she wants to.
About Me
- BBC
- Billy B Cook, born in Salt Lake City, Utah, 6-30-1943 (note that this date is smack in the middle of your calendar year) A powerful dream I had in 1997 resulted in my moving and starting on a strange and complex spiritual journey. Billy B Cook… BBC… Born Before Christ. Humans are so lacking spiritually even though they have many religions. Let’s get an understanding right from the git go, there is no all powerful god out there. We are god in evolution, and anyone that doesn’t understand that in this day and age has been as much as brainwashed by their teachers and mentors. We are the omnipresent spirit of this living planet and I'm tired of how they raise us here in our human forms. And at times I get angry and rant at and about others. Just call me Billy, you are as much of the living spirit of this planet as I am once you sort it out right.
1 comment:
Billy,
This post spoke to me.
You will never be able to figure out anyone who themselves doesn't know what they want. You can't give her what she needs if she doesn't know what that is.
People who have a lot of boundaries, especially sexual ones, and who vacillate between "hot and cold", usually have endured some kind of abuse in the past. So, she doesn't need "a cold bastard", but neither should you feel obligated to help her fix what's wrong. That's her job.
If she ever does figure it out, she may seek for you again. Stranger things have happened.
Or, she may never deal with what is bothering her, and will always be the way she is.
Best to steer clear of this woman, at least for now. Wouldn't life be easier if we could fix the ones who are so obviously broken, yet don't know they are?
Well, maybe not. I gave up trying to save and fix people a long time ago, along with giving up my abusive childhood as a reason to do things.
Sharona
P.S. The trip to the hot springs sounds wonderful! Very relaxing and peaceful. The most powerful spiritual insights I've ever had have been while surrounded by nature. If you haven't seen Alaska yet, do go. It changed me in ways I'm still not sure about. A girlfriend and I went very cheaply, camping and staying in public use cabins. I can't wait to go back, once I have the money to do it again. :)
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