An extra post

On most Wednesday’s about four in the afternoon I go over to Rick’s custom upholstery shop for a couple of beers and some bullshit.

He is currently working on a 56 Pontiac that he has already done the top and seats on, next are the door panels. The VW bug just came in today, it’s being restored by a man here that specializes in them but he has Rick do the interiors. Rick also has a 56 Packard in the shop that he is doing a complete interior on.

Rick’s shop is one cool place to hang out if you like old cars. In a few months there will be an old Hupmobile showing up. This man doesn’t even advertise, it’s all word of mouth.

I can’t even sew a straight line yet this drunken friend of mine did the interior in the car that is currently taking all the top honors in the prestigious national car shows for best custom interior, go figure. I’ll post pictures of it at another time.

Happiness is

Hammer tagged me to talk about childhood toys. Boy, I can’t help him much, I just never had much in the line of toys as a child. My parents both worked and had money, but my parents were for my parents, us kids were poor. I just don’t recall much in toys from my childhood, and certainly no collections. Well, there was my booger collection, but I kept it at Sewmouse’s house under every ledge I could find. LOL.

I tried to get my sister Bev interested in a booger collection but she preferred to eat hers, yuck. Umm, does shit on the end of a stick chasing my sister’s count as a toy?

I recall an occasional metal truck to play with, and a old train set that someone had given us, but those things didn’t last long with the fuck head brother I had.

My teen years were spent with a fishing pole, an old blanket and a pillowcase to pack a few things in as I wandered around in the mountains. I did have some sort of bike most of the time, and a dog. That was about it.

It’s okay, I don’t care, I got over my childhood, now I have kites, a radio controlled boat, a radio controlled airplane that I’m very good at crashing. And soon, a nice camper retreat. Oh, and a number of fishing poles that people have given me, but I only use one of them, it works great for flying the kite.

Terry stopped by yesterday, I haven’t seen him for some time. He keeps inviting me out for a free meal but I just never get out that way. I worked with him a lot for about three years, doing repairs, new construction, remodeling, things like that. For a while I opened the café and cooked the breakfast shift also. I showed him the rig I ‘invented’ to spray the foam in spray cans onto surfaces, he thought it was very cool and that I should patent it. Na, getting a patent is a pain in the butt, been there, done that, and I don’t care to make money off of something like that. Anyone that wants to know how to do it, I’m happy to tell them how. It was nice to see him, I really do need to get out that way someday, they serve damn good food out there
Granny's Cafe

Dan called me a moron, I called him a moron right back, he, he, he. He gives folks way to much credit for being so special and never having issues. I guess he thinks that he and all his readers are perfect but all they do on his blog is go blah, blah, blah until he gets 200 comments to brag about, big whoop. Hell, I wish I was perfect, but I know that I’m flawed.

Happiness is a camp/travel trailer. Okay, something like that is a retreat to me. And it’s going to be nice to have a highly mobile one so that I can get away to quite places.

The heavy roofing that I mentioned Rick bring to me the other day is actually some type of PVC material, like the tarps that truckers use, only much heavier. It must have cost a lot of money, I’m thankful to have been given it. It’s ten feet wide and twenty-three feet long, I put it over the camper with the black side up so that the sun warms it up faster. That should allow me to work on parts of it more, right now there is a lot of frost or condensation in it every morning. I had it rolled out in the driveway to warm up when Terry was here and he offered to help me put it over the trailer but I didn’t want to do it right then. He wasn’t sure I could do it by myself but he’s seen me figure out how to do lots of things by myself so he didn’t push it.

It wasn’t hard I clamped a pair of vicegrips to one end and attached a rope to them, tossed it over the camper and went to the other end and pulled it over. I have another friend that is very good at figuring out how to do things alone also, hell, we could figure out how to build pyramids. Well, at least I’ve built homes alone.

Yesterday I worked on chopping on the last load of firewood (picture) that Helen got. Actually, I work on it a little most days. I’m chopping up the rolls on the right and stacking it on the left. The roll I have done so far will last her about a month, depending on the weather. I try to keep two months worth of chopped wood on hand for her. On the far right, out of the picture is a roll and a half that is the current stock being used. It’s good exercise and helps keep me in shape.

A bit about Helen. Aside from being the most pleasant and cheerful woman I’ve ever known, she does have her quirks. I really want to paint her kitchen, it really needs it. But every time I bring it up she starts steaming so I drop it. She has never smoked or drank, or driven a car, and swears very little although she loves the art of swearing and doesn’t care that I do. Once in a while when she is with me and I’m swearing at what a stupid monkey driver is doing she might say something like, “Yeah……. Motherfucker”, and then she giggles. And she loves risque jokes, good people she is.

And I think that she likes a little shock value once in a while also. We were at a bar one night, I was singing karaoke, and she went over to another table to talk too the folks there, picture a little old lady saying as innocently as a three year old, “I like to fuck.” Boy, that gets everyone’s attention. LOL

Anyway, it’s laundry day again here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse. Have a good day everyone, be peaceful and un-needy. BBC

Want a subject line?

Hey, make up your own fucking subject line.

I mostly goofed off yesterday, what did you do? Work for the business monkeys? He, he, he. It wasn’t a good day for working on the camper, I need a shop to work on it in this time of year. But it’s only January, it will get done in due time.

Jamie said something about my blog. “One thing about a blog with a lot of different subjects. It's like a cluttered desk. A cluttered desk may indicate a cluttered mind, but think what an empty desk says.”

Quote of the Day …."Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?" -James Thurber

Life is what we make it. We are what we choose to be. No use blaming the other guy for our mistakes. We made them. Through mistakes we learn.

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

I've learned that at no time should I presume anyone else will think the way I do. And there is the whole rub, you monkeys think you know how to think.

War's a game, which, were their subjects wise, Kings could not play at.

Virtue is often the result of insufficient temptation. Ah, but if you want to shut me up drop by and stick a boob in my mouth. Here is your temptation. He, he, he.

On Scott’s blog he spoke of his mild superpowers, do you have any?
Two that I can think of quickly.
1: Driving women crazy because they deserve it.
2: Bending bullshit.

I will also add that I’m a pretty good bullshit filter.

You monkeys just don’t get this ‘ALL’ part do you? I am the ALL, this is all mine, and most of the rest of you are just screwing it up. Ah hell, I know what you want, you want humor, so here is some frigging humor, read it and then get the hell off of my blog.

"Will I be the first to do this to you ?" whispered the man after his bride-to-be finally consented to sex. "What a silly question," giggled the girl. "I don't even know what position you want to use yet."

Hollywood Squares
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Wait a minute, I’m not fucking done talking. I looked at a ladies blog yesterday and she was whining about her living with her piece of crap drunken daughter and what a pain in the butt it is. So I get to thinking, why would anyone do that? I’ve never stayed in any situation I didn’t like if I couldn’t correct it. I think that she should tell her daughter to stop being a piece of crap and shape up because she needs to hear it.

And she should move into her own place, she is a senior citizen and there are plenty of affordable senior housing programs where they and get into nice living quarters. If she is somewhere that she doesn’t like it’s because she isn’t doing anything about it. And if she feels like whining she should go look in a mirror and whine to the person looking back at her. Maybe she can figure out that her problem is right there looking at her. It appears to me that the answer to some of her happiness is just a relocation. I would never live with a problem drunken daughter, son, wife, or anyone else. Maybe with a happy friendly drunk, but never a problem irresponsible one that gets DUI’s and hasn’t got a drivers license, auto insurance, etc, etc. Those people have issues and think they should have complete freedom to do as they wish. They believe in complete freewill.

When I first moved to this town I was really stupid about certain kinds of people. That is, having a deep understanding of how they actually tick. I met a lady that while she was a very good con, a convincing talker, she was still a piece of crap. I figured I could help her change that, that is how stupid I was at the time. I’ve talked about this before, I spent thousands getting her out of a bunch of trouble because she convinced me that she really didn’t want to hang out in bars all the time, she just did so because she didn’t have anyone to do other things with.

Yeah, right, the day I got all her problems fixed she copped an attitude on me and then went and got in a lot of trouble again. I was new in town, I had never known these type of women, she had been a bar fly for years and she still is. I won’t even say hi when I see her, she is a piece of shit that just thinks she is wonderful. I sure did learn a lot from her though. And I can’t say that it was the drinking that made her fucked up. I’ve met women that drink very little that are also fucked up in how they think things like their presumed freewill and independence. They make lousy partners because they are not team players.

Like my friends wife, his pet drunk I call her. He often works seven days a week and she doesn’t. But she won’t clean the house, do the laundry, cook decent meals, blah, blah, blah, and heads for the bar every night at about five, without him. She just sits on a barstool and cons people into thinking that she is a wonderful person, and they seem to believe it. But I know better because I know them well. And the relationship isn’t even about a sexual attraction because they seldom do that. I would have booted her butt out a long time ago. He talks about it but I don’t think he ever will. He knows it’s wrong, he doesn’t mind that I call her his pet drunk, he understands the truth even if he won’t do anything about it.

Remember, friendship is like peeing your pants.......everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth!

Anyway, did you read this before or after working for the business monkeys? He, he, he. Know what’s interesting? The more I blabber and rant, the more hits my site gets. Boy, you are really sick people. LOL

I'm a fucking idiot

I feel like ranting today, first I will rant about me.

Yup, I have to buy more airtime for a frigging cell phone that I never use. But if I don’t add some more time I lose the minutes I have accumulated. Someone should just smack me in the fucking head with a hammer and put me out of my stupidity. I think that someday, when I need some joy very badly I will just take a hatchet to it and see how many pieces I can convert it into. Yup, I think that would make me feel very happy. Freedom of the mind and being free of bullshit is a good thing. While I’m at it I think I’ll also buy some new undies to customize with racing stripes. *snorts*…. I still think that I’m a special idiot though.

It was a beautiful day yesterday. I worked on the camper some in the morning, discovered some wood rot in the floor system so decided to just take it out and fix it right rather than let it go even though it would likely have lasted as long as I own and use the trailer. I took it out, I haven’t put it back together yet. Being such a beautiful day I decided to go to the spit and goof off and fly my kite some. Helen went with me and I stopped and bought a couple of subs for a sort of picnic.

I went over to Helen’s last evening and we listened to the old time music they have on Sunday’s while we played a dice game and The Restless Wind came on, boy, I haven’t heard that song for years. My version.

With an ugly crack in a railroad shack I spent my younger days. And I guess the sound of the outward bound made me a slave to my wandering ways. He, he, he.

So I posted about how unhappy I was with women yesterday, and then went to visit Hammers blog to see what he had posted and he had posted about screwed up women. Once again he and I and the cosmos aligned. Interesting. But don’t ask me how it works. To the last six women I’ve tried relationships with (and a reminder to the guys on this planet), God put us together for a reason. To show me what kind of women I don’t want because you won’t change how you think about things. Being as life is about lessons I’ve finely learned that one and I’m not going to revisit it again.

I need to go to a good live stage performance, they always cheer me up. But the playhouse is between performances right now. Sigh.

Sewmouse thinks I rant too much about not wanting a woman, I agree, not the women I’ve been meeting anyway, but I need to get it out of my system until I’m too the point where, I’m fully done with them. Anyone that’s been as screwed over as I have for the last nine years has earned the right to rant. Stay away from the women I say, they just don’t get it. And if you are a woman reading this, maybe it’s not YOU that I’m talking about. That is something you have to decide I guess.

So I guess the Miss America Pageant is in full swing. Big deal, I wouldn’t walk across the street to watch it. Or bother to watch it on TV. Helen won’t watch it either, she says they don’t show enough of their tits. Don’t worry, Helen isn’t gay, she’s just kinky. She is always pointing out sexy looking women to me because I’m not paying much attention to that, my mind is often a million miles away fussing about wars and thirty thousand people dying of starvation everyday, things like that. Yeah, Helen, whatever, you look at them. No matter how good they look some man somewhere is tired of her shit.

Bah, I’m fucking crazy, everyone that follows this blog is fucking crazy. He, he, he. Our fucking ancestors made the fucking Gods fucking crazy. And the ugly part of it is that the monkeys that rule us are even more fucking crazy than we are. Gaaaaaa !!! Great movie though, “The Gods Must Be Crazy” isn’t it? Or “The Gods Are Crazy” or something like that.

Hey, where ya going? What is the water like there? Will it give ya the shits? Are you a hiker? Heck, I think everyone should have a few of these straws, but the website doesn’t show them as being available for individual sales.
Life Straw

Martha Steward for preznut, why not, one cunt is as good as the next. The only woman I would like to see as president is my neighbor Helen because those other women don’t make a pimple on her butt.

Rambling thoughts of a retiree:
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
I went to San Francisco . I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when
he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ( Buffalo have wings???)
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Wait, I do, but I don’t let it take away from my own self-importance.
He, he, he ……..

Sunday already?

I got quite a bit done on the camp trailer the last few days. The holes where the furnace and toilet were are filled. The second layer of flooring someone had installed has been removed. All of the paneling and ribs have been removed along with the windows, access doors and frames in that section. And I’ve been doing prep work, like on the wood stringers at the roof line that I’m not removing. Soon I will start making the window frames and supports. Such as they are because it’s not like making a home where you use 2X4’s or 2X6’s. I’ll have lots of windows in the back half where the seating and table will be. It will be nice to have good views when I’m out on day trips and camping.

Rick brought me a roll of heavy rubber type roofing material yesterday. Black on one side and white on the other, I can make good use of it somewhere.

Ha, ha, ha. Check out today’s Chickweed Lane comic.
Chickweed

And Andy Capp is cute today also.
Andy

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO

Alabama
Hell yes, we have electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong!

Arizona
Yes, but it's a dry heat.

Arkansas
Lituracy ain't everythang.

California
By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda.

Colorado
If you don't ski, don't bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller.

Delaware
We really do like the chemicals in our water.

Florida
Ask us about our grandkids and our voting skills.

Georgia
We put the fun in fundamentalist extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to mainland scum, leave your money)

Idaho
More than just potatoes...Well, okay, we're not, but the potatoes sure are real good.

Illinois
Please, don't pronounce the "s."

Indiana
2 billion years tidal wave free.

Iowa
We do amazing things with corn.

Kansas
First of the rectangle states.

Kentucky
Five million people; fifteen last names.

Louisiana
We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign.

Maine
We're really cold, but we have cheap lobster.

Maryland
If you can dream it, we can tax it.

Massachusetts
Our taxes are lower than Sweden's and our senators are more corrupt!

Michigan
First line of defense from the Canadians.

Minnesota
10,000 lakes... and 10 zillion mosquitoes.

Mississippi
Come visit and feel better about your own state.

Missouri
Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask about our state motto contest.

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go away and leave us alone

New Jersey
You want a ##$%##! Motto? I got yer ##$%##! Motto right here!

New Mexico
Lizards make excellent pets.

New York
You have the right to remain silent, You have the right to an attorney...
And no right to self defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco is a vegetable.

North Dakota
We really are one of the 50 states!

Ohio
At least we're not Michigan.

Oklahoma
Like the play, but no singing.

Oregon
Spotted owl... It's what's for dinner.

Pennsylvania
Cook with coal.

Rhode Island
We're not really an island.

South Carolina
Remember the Civil War? Well, we didn't actually surrender yet.

South Dakota
Closer than North Dakota.

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

Texas
Se hable Ingles.

Utah
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.

Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedy's.

Virginia
Who says government stiffs and slackjaw yokels don't mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One big happy family...really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!

Wyoming
Where men are men... and the sheep are scared. Home of Brokeback Mountain.

The District of Columbia
The work-free drug place!

Bad Week ??

Yea !! Pussy Friday !!

So what did you eat yesterday?
Breakfast: Cinnamon roll. Cuz life is uncertain, eat dessert first.
Lunch: A pint of fresh oysters cooked in butter.
Dinner: Huh? And spoil my beautiful figure?

Caution, Adult content (boobs) was posted on my other blog this morning. I’m warning you of that because I know that none of you will want to go look at it. BBC

Dear Mother

Just a few lines to let you know that I received your email and interesting web cam picture. Pleased to know that you are learning the Internet. Has it been six months already? It’s been so pleasant without you here.

I also got an email from the Lazy Acres care facility. They have rules there, that is why you can’t have your fifth of booze and chain smoke cigarettes everyday, and they really don’t approve of you flashing your dried up tits at all the men. And your constant bitching about everything. Nor does the help appreciate always being given the finger and being told to “Fuck off”.

I’m sorry that you don’t like their rules, but you didn’t like ours either and that is why you are there, let them deal with you.

Oh, and please stop bitching about my girlfriend being an ex hooker. I respectfully remind you that you spent your life being a whoring slut giving it away for free.

They have offered us money to take you back but please try to adjust and enjoy your new home, because you are not coming back here, bitch.

Your loving son, Billy

Nothing is wasted in nature

Hey, I wasn’t going to do a post on my other blog for a while, but I just did.
My other blog

I was recently reminded that nothing is wasted in nature. Well, there are all those monkeys that get buried in cement vaults instead of just going back to nature quickly. I would just as soon be ground up into dog or cat food, or spread in the forest.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Contact with my own species always disappoints me. – Captain Nemo, of the Nautilus.

One Sunday, the Minister was giving a sermon on baptism and in the coarse of his sermon he was illustrating the fact that baptism should take place by sprinkling and not by immersion. He pointed out some instances in the Bible. He said that when John the Baptist baptized Jesus in the River Jordan, it
didn't mean in - it meant close to, round about, or nearby. And again when it says in the Bible that Philip baptized the eunuch in the river, it didn't mean in - it meant close to, round about, or nearby.

After the service, a man came up to the minister and told him it was a great sermon, one of the best he had ever heard, and that it had cleared up a great many mysteries he had encountered in the Bible. "For instance," he said, "the story about Jonah getting swallowed by the whale has always bothered me. Now I know that Jonah wasn't really in the whale, but close to, round about, or nearby-swimming in the water.

Then there is the story about the three young Hebrew boys who were thrown into the furious furnace, but were not burned. Now I see that they were not really in the fire, just close to, round about, or nearby-just keeping warm. But the hardest of all the stories for me to believe has always been the story of Daniel getting thrown into the lions' den. But now I see that he wasn't really in the lions' den, but close to, round
about, or nearby-like at the zoo. The revealing of these mysteries have been a real comfort to me.

Now I am gratified to know that I won't be in Hell, but close to, round about, or nearby. And next Sunday, I won't have to be in church, just close to, round about, or nearby. Thanks. You have really put my mind at ease. [You’re welcome, BBC takes a bow. And don’t get me started about those mega churches and the idiots that go to them.]

It has come to my attention that my opinions are not universally shared. Ah, you have the same problem? That pretty much explains what is wrong with this world.

Paris, you are such a flirt hon. It’s too bad you are married or we might be able to go camping some day, you have been hanging around here for some time now. I like to do marriages, and I have great respect for marriage or I would flirt with you more. Hugs. I see no point in putting mirrors on the roof of my camper though, not much interested in lying on my back and staring at myself. I don’t think I’ve ever been with a woman that would get into that anyway. Well, maybe Marie would have been okay with it, she was a country gal that liked to watch animals have sex, hell she liked to lift her head up and watch me sex her. But it never came up, I really don’t know how I would feel about it, never having tired it.

(ring, ring)
Hello…

Hi there, this is Bill Cook, I’m God and I would like to talk to you.

God calls people on the phone?

Why not? I’m also the Phone Company.
(hangs up)

Well fuck, George Burns got away with that shit.

I’ve learned.

That when you are trying to stop smoking that it’s important to keep your hands busy. I think that must be why women have two breasts. *giggles*

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. And I’ve learned not to care.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that people think that God shouldn’t be a critic, but who wouldn’t expect God to be a critic? Mrs. God would be a critic also, but I haven’t heard her voice for a long time now. Sigh, it’s been a few thousand years now, I sure do miss her.

Anyway, closer to home. It was pretty damn nice here yesterday. Just a tinkle of rain for a short while but mostly warm and some sun. Warm being over forty degrees. I worked outside a fair amount. Split firewood for Helen. I also cut the zipper out of her boot and punched holes in it and installed a shoestring in it. She is tickled pink with that and now doesn’t want to go looking for new ones. It sure is nice to have such an easy to please friend and neighbor.

I removed one of the roof vents from the kitchen camper to put on the camp trailer as it is in better condition than the one that was on it. I sealed the hole with a piece of plywood. I cleaned out a lot of the wood I had torn out of the camper and burned it. At one point in time someone had put down a piece of quarter inch plywood on top of the original floor and put stick on tiles on top of that. I’m taking all that out also, plus the floor furnace that most likely doesn’t work anyway. I’ll install carpeting when I get to that point because I like the warmth of it. I don’t think it will take much to heat it being as it’s going to be about the most insulated camper around when I’m done, but I suppose I will make my own heater. Or use a more modern one that I have on hand.

With some exceptions that old Shasta was a pretty well built camp trailer. It has a nice heavy weather seal under the floor, that is good. I made an insulated seal to put where the hole for the holding tank exited and it glued it in there yesterday also. It should be cured soon and then I will insulate the area between it and the floor and make a plug to fill the hole in the floor. It will be a while before I start installing the foam panels, first I will repair some wood rot at the edges of the floor, and install the window frames, windows and wiring, etc.

I went to look at fabrics to use on the panels and now I’m confused. There are many that are interesting. Burlap was my first thought, and it is cheap because my friend Rick will give it to me at his cost. And it would look just fine. But I also looked at some Native materials that I like very much, and some South West designs. And some nature designs. And some nautical designs. Well, I have a little time to make up my mind, maybe I’ll just go with a montage of designs on the different areas.

I’m not lonely, you fools saying that on your blogs are wrong, get better brains, my life is very full and there are a lot of friends in it. Yes, there is a hole in it, but only one in a million women could fill it. I’m working on filling that hole with other things being as she hasn’t shown up. All will be well.

It’s laundry day at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse. And all of the pussy’s now have colds, poor pussy’s. But they are not complainers. Take care, have a good day.. BBC

Yesterday

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away, oh I believe in yesterday…. Great song, but lets get back on track.

Yesterday I chopped firewood for Helen and patched two holes in the roof of the camper where I had removed what was there. I’m kind of thinking of putting a skylight in the roof, but I don’t know, what do you think?

Then I took Helen ‘shopping’. Well, Helen hates to shop, and it’s hard for her to walk far with her tired and hurting legs. But a zipper in one of her favorite boots broke. So we went to every store in town that might have the kind of boots she likes, just plain rain type boots, nothing fancy. She sat in the truck while I went into the stores to look for something. Nothing, there is nothing in town that she would like. She is just good old country folk, they no longer make simple things like they like anymore. Everyone likes to be on an ego trip trying to make themselves happy. Sigh, well, they are in good shape except for the zipper, I will figure out how to fix them myself.

Do you actually find blogging stressful? I do, but I didn’t start a blog to just have some fun, or to make money pushing something. I started my blog wanting to change the world by explaining that mankind is God in evolution. That will be a year ago in April, I guess I haven’t done a very good job of it. It’s okay, it takes time, and it’s a journey. Mankind just doesn’t want to accept it at this time, so many are still suckered into believing old teachings. Or simply not knowing what to believe.

Anyway, I need a little time off, or at least to back off for a bit. I have one pack of cigarettes left and I’m not buying anymore (if I can help it). Watching the news and stupid wars, politics, writing my blogs, things like that, get me worked up. I have opinions (no shit?) and I like to share them with others. Even reading some blogs get me worked up. So I need to back off from that for a bit while I try to stop smoking. Please, don’t wish me luck, I don’t want any expectations to try to live up to right now. I’m going to stay away from the news and politics and such for right now but will post jokes, good and bad. Or maybe some quotes. Hell, I don’t know what I will do, I take one day at a time.

Poor pussy, one of my pussy’s has a cold. Hopefully it will be better in a few days, or I will take her to the vet. This was their first winter and I think they didn’t realize that cold is not as cool as they took it to be. They sure did enjoy playing in the snow while it was here though. Cats aren’t cranks like humans when they get sick, they just bear it a lot better without complaining. She is spending a lot of time on the bed on top of the closet.

Hey… Dr. Alistair …. Just tell those stupid monkeys to shut the fuck up, that’s what I do. LOL. But I do love to argue with them. I’ll argue with them for forty comments, God loves a good pissing contest, but they usually go away long before that. God isn’t here to debate, God is here to teach. I sure hand out a lot of F’s. Some times it’s the only joy I get on this frigging planet. Hugs.

Wedding Anniversary….. Larry was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds...AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!"

The next morning Larry got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift-box for her in the middle of the driveway. The wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Larry has been missing since Friday

Sometimes... when you cry... no one sees your tears.

Sometimes... when you are in pain...no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes... when you are worried… no one sees your stress.

Sometimes... when you are sick… no one sees your pain.

But FART!! just ONE time...

This likely a legend but it is an interesting story:

On one occasion Jesse James and his gang sought food and rest at a lonely farmhouse. The woman there gave them what food she could and apologized for the poor hospitality. A widow and deeply in debt, she was even then waiting for the debt collector to visit her to demand $1,400, which she could not possibly afford to pay.

Jesse James had the spoils of one of his bank raids with him. He gave the astonished woman enough money to pay off her debt, telling her to be sure to get a receipt from the debt collector. Then he and his gang withdrew to watch the road leading to the farmhouse.

Along came the debt collector, looking very grim. A short while later he emerged from the farm, looking altogether more pleased with himself. Jesse James and his men stopped him, recovered their $1,400, and rode off.

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. Well, my job is done!

CHICAGO (AP) - High blood pressure is controlled better in the United States than in five Western European countries, a study found, and researchers credit American doctors' more aggressive prescribing of drugs.

Hum, screw drugs, many people have high blood pressure because they don’t keep their bodies in shape. Shame on them, get some real exercise folks. Many people’s blood pressure goes up because of the pressures of life and their inability to deal with it. Well, learn to deal with it, I had to. I’m sixty-three and have near perfect blood pressure even though I see all the pressures, and live them. Some folks need meds for it of course, but many wouldn’t if they just changed how they do some things and ignored the needy lifestyles. And went and chopped some wood or spent more time in/with nature.

I know, when I got up this morning the future had moved on in front of me, well nothing I can do about that. Have a good day, go spoil yourselves some, I know you will, the Americans will anyway, they think it is some god given right or something. But I’ll still be fussing about wars and starving people. BBC

Momma Bear

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?!!"he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the frigging cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time.

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE FUCKING PORRIDGE YET"!

Those lying bastards…..Those tubes of rolls that you buy to just cook up. Easy open tubes, just pull the tab to open the tube. Fuck, who are they kidding? You have to attack those sons a bitches to get them open. Those lying motherfucking cocksuckers are a bunch of lying motherfucking cocksuckers. A person could hurt themselves trying to get one of those motherfucking cocksuckers open. A big ol’ butcher knife and a rolling tube can be a dangerous thing, a good way to lose a thumb or finger.

*Clamps in vice, whips out Saws-all*

The graphic was made by Laurel Ann. The picture was taken in her garden.

That is all

Billy… The pissed off God

The future happens

LONDON (Reuters) - Folic acid supplements may boost brain power in the elderly and could possibly help reduce the risk of dementia, scientists said on Friday. Brain function, memory and the speed with which information is processed decline as people age but researchers in the Netherlands and Switzerland have found that taking folic acid can help. Folic acid is a synthetic compound of folate, a B vitamin found in green leafy vegetables, yeast, liver, beans and in some fruits. Women are advised to take folic acid before conceiving and during the early months of pregnancy to prevent disorders such as spina bifida.

Beans, beans, the musical food. The more you eat the more you toot. The more you toot the better you feel. So why not eat beans for every meal?

1969….”Hammer is born with the sole purpose to put an end to all this dirty hippy nonsense”. Hum, that little snot nosed whipper-snapper is the same age as my kids. By the time he is my age he will be just as cranky as I am. And see the world differently than he does now. At the rate things are going the world may be a pretty ugly place by then, time will tell. Anyway, I’m not clear what he means by “dirty hippy nonsense”, but I think that is just a generalization. Meaning there are ways about this planet that he doesn’t like and would like to see them changed. It seems that we have the same purpose, to change the world. And we are not alone, there are others. Maybe Kirsten even though she is confused about who she is. KB is a good soul trying to sort things out, folks like that. We talk about the past, and have a lot of interesting stories about our pasts, but they are our pasts.

But our real concern is the future and making it right. HOWEVER….. There is a fucking problem. The fucking future is happening while we sleep, work, play, shop and take care of the things we need to take care of. The fucking future is running ahead of us fucking up all over again before we even become aware of it. Argh !!!!

How can we determine and shape the future when it is already fucking history by the time we read and watch the news? These fucking monkeys killed those fucking monkeys. This fucking greedy business monkey got caught screwing many people, umm, maybe they are monkeys also but that is beside the point. Should you really be screwing your fellow monkeys? Etc, etc. You call that evolved?

So you see, here is the fucking problem. [Umm, so God likes to fucking swear on fucking Sunday, get the fuck over it] THEY ARE AHEAD OF OUR FUCKING PARADE !!!! We know that there are problems, we believe that we have some solutions, but they won’t get behind us. They won’t let us lead the parade, get behind us and listen to us, do as we say.

Ah hell, it’s a wasted effort isn’t it? Trying to fix the world is just a waste of time, it continues to go to hell. I really should just sit back and observe because it simply isn’t my time.

Bah, welcome to the future, it’s fucked, it was fucked before you got up and read this. Good morning, welcome to the fucked up future. Have a nice day.

My cats are idiots, and so are yours, and so are your dogs. If you don’t believe me just watch them closely for a while. They have the fucking attention spans of gnats unless they are hungry, or horney. Just watch any cat or dog as it goes through the day. It doesn’t do two things at one time. If it is fucking around (and lets face it, that is mostly all cats and dogs do) and if it gets an itch it stops what it is doing and bites or scratches it. Dogs and Cats are good at two things. Not placing a lot of demands on you and wanting more things (unlike mates) and giving you some love. But don’t think for a minute that it is unconditional love. Even dogs and cats have conditions.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. [They just don’t have much to love you with]

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't necessarily biological.

I had a dream last night, a dark haired lady wanted me for a mate and was trying to talk me into it. And she seemed like she meant it and would be a good mate. Stupid dream.

National good looking day

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast, you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Hey buddy. Don't marry her. Buy a house.

TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE! Nobody there....

Life is sexually transmitted.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

She won’t insist that her husband goes shopping with her anymore. He went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet Paper In here!" He hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, Yelled Pick Me!" "Pick Me!" He looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

No one is indispensable. If one person is unavailable, another can take its place.

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.
Father1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?
Father2: Shall I open the window?
Father1: No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.
Father2: Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution?
Father1: What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work?
Father2: Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"

A young lady, having committed some small offense, was made to eat dinner alone, at a little table in the corner of the kitchen. The rest of the family was paying her no attention until she began to pray in a loud voice, "I thank you, Lord, for preparing this table before me in the presence of mine enemies."

Hank an 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "Hank, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Hank replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, POOF! the light goes on. When I'm done, POOF! the light goes off. " WOW, That's incredible" the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Hank's wife. "Ethel," he says, "Hank is doing fine! But I had to call you as I am in awe. Is it true that he gets up during the night and POOF! the light goes on in the
bathroom, and when he's done POOF! the light goes off? "Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims, "he's peeing in the refrigerator again!

Selfish…. I’m very selfish about using my cutting torch. My tanks are leased from an outfit in Salt Lake City because I got them when I had my business there. To refill them I have to take them back to Salt Lake City or pay a very high price to have them done here. I left there in 1993 and still have plenty of oxygen and acetylene left, maybe enough for the rest of my creative life. I often find other ways to cut things and I also have a stick welder that works well on most things other than really light stuff. But yesterday I wanted to modify the stove in the shop some so I had to use it.

The damn oxygen regulator was sticking badly, it had been acting up a little for years. So I decided to try lubing it some to see if I could get it working again. I don’t recall what an oxygen regulator is supposed to be lubed with but I damn well know that it shouldn’t be an oil based product that can burn. Or any product that can burn. I couldn’t find my graphite because I’ve let things get too unorganized so I decided to try a few drops of antifreeze, it worked, yea.

Not sure it makes sense to have a heater in the shop though, that part of the building was built many years ago and wasn’t built to hold heat. At the time it was just used to store recycling stuff and it’s not insulated and there are a lot of cracks between the boards. It’s like trying to fucking heat the state of Wisconsin in January. Well, maybe someday I will get it sealed up better.

You may stop admiring me now and get on with your other work. LOL. .. Hell, does anyone really work anymore? They seem to always be on the web, even at ‘work’. Is America productive anymore? What in the hell makes this country tick anyway? It damn sure isn’t George Bush. Or is it going to quit ticking? Hum…..

Yea, it's Pussy Friday

Good morning !! It’s Billy B. Doggy God here. You know what I’m going to be doing all day long? Licking my privates, sticking my nose in other doggie’s butts and all other disgusting things I can find to stick it in, and any disgusting thing I can find to roll in. And then, he, he, he, I’m going to slobber all over your face. He, he, he.

A dog can go ape shit in a house and make a mess and be forgiven, but a man isn’t. What is with that? Hell, I don’t toss clothes around and chew on her underwear. I even cook and wash dishes. Not fair.

Anyway, the pussy Gods here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse had a decent week. They spend most nights out carousing around being slutty and having a good time. Hunting was good with the bagging of three strays that wandered by, yum, yum. Hey, any dog that is loose must be a stray, and therefore fair game for Shish-kabobs, the pussy God’s have to eat also.

Not sure what they are going to do with that old toothless half blind three-legged ally scrapper mongrel though. Keep it around for a chew toy it seems. Hell, cats need amusement too.

WATER & WINE EDUCATION
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we Would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli bacteria found in feces. In other Words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) Because alcohol has to go through a distillation Process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk shit .. Than to Drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable Information. I am doing it as a public service.

I’ve been to Canada quite a few times, but maybe never again. I’m not going to bother to get a passport just on the off chance I might want to go again. Pretty country, nice people, but I really have no need to go there. And boarders are so frigging stupid, the world is evolving backwards.

I bought a nice three foot long forty caliber blow gun, it was on sale for 75% off, so was under five bucks. And some short darts. I can target practice in my room during cold days. Then I can get some soft balls and go to Beer Church and pop people on their butts. LOL… It also has an adapter that allows paint balls to be used in it with a tube that you put the balls in. Those fancy plastic thumb tacks that they use on bulletin boards shoot through it just right for practice. I’ll make some heavy darts so I can harass that coon that comes by to harass my pussy’s. Coon’s are cat killers.

So Art Buchwald died, now there was an interesting and entertaining man. He died like I intend too. Looking at it with interest and writing about it. Unless of course some unexpected event takes me out suddenly. Say a car wreck or some nut blowing me away. Ah, the nut would be okay, that might make the front page. Buchwald said in numerous interviews after his decision became public that he was not afraid to die, that he was not depressed about his fate and that he was, in fact, having the time of his life.

Among his more famous witticisms: "If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it." Despite his successes, the perennial funny man said he battled depression in 1963 and 1987. He once joked about deciding not to commit suicide out of fear that The New York Times miss the story….. LOL

Kristen, God sees the first chapters of your book as your attempt to rewrite biblical history and wants to know why you would do such a thing? I knew it, that I could retire. Kristen has ‘God’ given powers and is going to fix the world. Cool hey? Now I can just kick back and enjoy the rest of my mortal life here. Ah, wait, it’s just fiction like is in the bible, just rewritten is all. Damn, well, I’m still going to take a vacation and let her see if she can fix this worlds mess. I wish her luck.

Wait Kirsten, you wrote about past lives (I’m assuming you think they were yours) but you didn’t write about when you were Mary.

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat." "But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!" The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

Anyway, have a day nice all. BBC

Hey Paris

It was pretty nice for a while today and I worked on the camper some. This is what the back of it looks like now. I put a piece of plywood where the window was to keep the rain out. I also removed the roof vent because I want to relocate it. And the toilet, notice the hole in the floor on the right. Soon I will be able to start re-doing the back, then I will strip out the front and do it. I think it will be pretty decent when I’m done, and warm. Warm is important to me because I will be using it all winter long.

Who too honor today

So here is what Egyptian stamps look like in case you have never seen any. I’m surprised that the book was delivered without a return address on it. I thought that mail had to have a return address on it, especially after all the bullshit and paranoia after 9/11. My best guess is that Kirsten didn’t want me to have one because she is also paranoid. What an amusing world some times.

Kirsten, a claim of human meat trafficking is a very serious claim and would have to be backed up by a lot of hard proof. Some people are still denying the holocaust. But if what you say is true, there should be a lot of evidence. Boy, it isn’t hard to get you riled up is it? Just question what you believe. Why shouldn’t I? You don’t even know who you are, but you do have quite an imagination. :-)…. If there is really sick things happening in your part of the world though, you have to fix it, I can’t.

Hey…. Hammer…. If you think all that weird shit follows you around, would you do me a favor?

DON’T FUCKING COME TO VISIT ME !!!!

It would be nice to down a few with you , but I just don’t need that shit here. It’s just the usual monkeys fucking around here. I’ll come to visit you if it comes to that. Okay? Thanking you in advance. :-)

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I know that most of you just want to be amused, so here goes.

We all know that I’m not going to honor any Christian or Muslim God, what a couple of fuck-ups they are, and only brainwashed people believe in them. Yeah, yeah, I know, you say that you’re not, but I disagree.

So, who to honor, there is a lot of Gods at The God Checker….. I know, the Tit Gods. We shall honor the Tit Gods today. Long live the tit Gods, male and female. But I’m not happy with the tit Gods.

In fact, I’m pissed.

Really.

Really, really pissed.

Really, really, really pissed.

No hooters to play with.

I should have my own hooters.

And a really limber neck.

I would kiss my hooters all the time.

My hooters would be soooo happieeeeee.

A tit, a tit, my kingdom for a tit.

*snickers*

This is funny, France and their wars. The whole amusing French war history can be found at.
The French at wars

Here is a sample of what is stated there. World War I… France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

"According to Self magazine, one in four women say they have negative thoughts about their body during sex. See, why do women worry about these kinds of things? During sex men are probably thinking about some other woman's body anyway. Don't worry about it." -Jay Leno

How'd you like to date a woman who writes a sex advice column for a living? To be a true educator one must always practice what one preaches. "Honey, I'm home," she'd say walking in the door. If you were her husband I'm sure you would breakout in a cold sweat. "This week's topic in the newsletter is 'fisting'," she would say. "I'd like to do a little research. Get the K-Y You're first!"

On his blob Nick posted about children being abducted and being okay with it in some instances. That is kind of interesting. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if I had been abducted in my youth, depends on the abductor and if I was treated better than I was being treated at home I guess.

But I’m not a kid anymore. Now I want to be abducted by a nice lady with nice breasts that wants me to kiss them a lot. Hell, I’m an easy keeper, and can brush hair, it wouldn’t cost her much to keep me around. Or maybe she is just looking for a stray to come by and lick her once in a while. Scrub her back in the shower being as women aren't interested in real relationships anymore. He, he, he.

It’s warming up some, maybe I will get a little done on the camper today. Or the other roof on the other camper. I went to Rick’s shop last night and he has some cheap burlap there, I wonder how that would look on the walls of the camper if I put it on with a clear paint. It might be interesting. Tomorrow is Pussy Friday, we’ll honor the Pussy Gods. Have a nice day, see ya. BBC

Keep that Redneck part of you

Technology is wonderful, but it can fail you at any given time, especially in time of war in your front yard. If you have any redneck, hillbilly, gypsy, or survivalist skills in you I suggest that you keep them honed up a little.

Ah, a redneck joke. :-)

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, "DeNephew."

Sewmouse… Why would anyone not buy their own property if they could? Got me, but I see a lot of people pissing their money away in other ways trying to make themselves happy so they never have the money to buy their own space. I’ve never owned a new car, but I’ve owned my own places to live. And the really cool thing is that you always make money off of property when you are done with it. Rent money is just money pissed away buying someone else’s property for them so that they can make money off of you. Go figure, I don’t understand how they think that out and make it right.

Hammer, there are no lost souls or spirits out in the cosmos, only on this planet. And that is because of the mentors and beliefs and how this stupid place is ran. The lost souls crap is just something the fools on this planet dreamed up.

Paris….. I said I didn’t believe in ghosts, I didn’t say I don’t believe in spirits, or the spirit. But what is needed on this planet is a collective spirit.

Kirsten sent me one of her books, all the way from Egypt. I appreciate that she sent it, but disappointed that she didn’t autograph it. If the writing on the package is hers she has beautiful penmanship. Anyway, any stamp collectors around? It has seven Egyptian stamps on it. I haven’t started reading it yet, but on the back it states that she is a woman with God-given powers. Hum, it will be interesting to find out what they are, I don’t recall giving her any.

So, I think God will retire….Hell, no one believes the serious things I say, so I think I will just stop trying to tell you monkeys what God is. No one here really believes in any kind of a God anyway, or they would live that way. And they damn sure don’t want to be God, or any part of God. So lets not talk about God anymore, lets talk about something else. What would you like to talk about? One of Gods, umm, Billy’s favorite subjects is boobs. Any lonely boobs out there wanting attention? Never mind sex, I said boobs. You get sex a couple of times a week and you are good to go. But boobs should be loved up some everyday, call it foreplay. Boobs that don’t like some loving everyday need new brains.

What about Muslim boobs? Those Muslim women must have pretty lonely boobs judging from I hear how their men treat them. We need some non-muslim men over there knocking them women up to improve that gene pool. So toss those condoms away boys, and get a plane to those areas.

I went to the hardware/lumber store yesterday for a through roof pipe flashing and also bought another window they had put out for five bucks. It’s two by five feet in a good plastic frame and is a slider with a screen on one side. I’m thinking I will install it in the front of my camper. If not, I will find some place to use it around here. Those windows are damn expensive, that was a great buy.

Gotta go, hide from this Godless world. See ya later…… Billy

Hi there

How are you?

God is part Redneck

Everyone has a bit of ‘Redneck’ in them. I wonder what it is called in other cultures, besides Hillbilly that is, Gypsy? It should be honored. This was a fun quiz to take.
Redneck quiz

My results said that I’m 35% Redneck. The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead. I’m just faking being a redneck. Yeah, whatever, but I like the Redneck or Hillbilly part of me, we are survivalists and can be funny as hell at times. Not to mention have fun in cheap ways.

A good deal I think. The Safeway brand of Jumbos Buttermilk Biscuits are very good. They are big, fluffy, and tasty. And cheap and fast to fix.

Jlee, having trouble leaving comments on your blog. Blogger is screwing them up, would you bitch slap it. So it sounds like you artsy fartsy types live pretty well, just enjoy the rain, rain is life.

I’ve talked about this before but lets hash it over again. I think "intelligent design" is something new, not something old. Doctors of science improving things here. The rest of it is just lucky things created by pagan mysterious sexual energy's. Miraculous that it is of course. But I don’t think it is intelligent just because someone decided it was. It’s just miraculous, chaotic random creation that works for the most part, but not always.

An old intelligent design idea is just stupid christian thinking. Just because they say it doesn't make it so. If we were an intelligent design in the beginning we wouldn't have been monkeys first. And things from the sea before that.

What is intelligent about sticking our pissers into other pissers and loving it? Huh? Huh? Huh? Ya know, this fucking cosmos has a really fucking sick sense of humor. LOL

Destiny is a hard one. Basically I think you have to forge your own, I did most of my life. But for the last ten years I've left some of it up to the cosmos, and that has been working for me. But to do that a person has to have faith in the cosmos, be in tune with the cosmos and most people aren’t, and accept that it doesn't always work out right. But it is all interesting.

The cosmic spirit may have beautiful plans, isn’t there always beautiful plans in your head? (I’m not saying that your plans are right for the collective whole) But the monkeys on this planet can screw them up. Toss in other random events of nature and such and you just have to deal with some things the best you can.

The Frenchman that founded New Orleans wanted French women down there so that he could keep that blood line going. So he wrote to the French government and they emptied a women’s correction center and he got sent ninety wild and loose women. What a gene pool to start with, and they are still wild down there with corrupt politics to boot. And they want the rest of the country to pay to rebuild the city that engineers told them not to build there in the first place. Bah, nature needs that area, she may be a bitch that we don’t understand all that well, but we need her also.

Because of this little thing called exponential escalation, expansion, explosion, whatever you want to call it, I see the next one hundred years as being make it or break it for mankind. I’m trying to be optimistic of course, it may be only the next fifty years. Anyone having children right now is subjecting them to what I think will be some ugly things the way things are going unless people start looking at the world differently.

OTTAWA (Reuters) - People who are fully bilingual and speak both languages every day for most of their lives can delay the onset of dementia by up to four years compared with those who only know one language, Canadian scientists said on Friday.

Four years, big deal, I can’t wait to get fully demented, or senile. I think the less I have to know about other things the happier I will be. Give me an island with just a few hundred people and no contact with the outside world, we’ll be just fine.

Blah, blah, blah. That is all, now get on with your other blogging. Billy God.

Good morning God

It’s Sunday, so what are you going to do today? Play some music? Sing a song? Plant a tree? Do a happy pagan naked dance? Hug someone? You’re not going to bomb or kill anyone are you?

These pussy whores here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse are not built like us. This is their first winter and it isn’t fazing them a bit. The sluts still stay out all night long instead of coming into a nice warm room to spend the night. Only one of them seems to prefer it in here at night. They just wander around out there and play in the snow like it’s summertime. Stupid pussy’s.

I wish I was a pussy, I would perch on high things and terrorize dogs that came by. The rest of the time I would just be a slut. Years ago a man came to my house with a German Shepherd, when I opened the door my mother cat lit right on his face. That poor sucker didn’t know what lit into him, he didn’t stop running for four blocks. LOL. Cats rule when they want to, I’d rather fight a dog than a pissed off or scared pussy. And that goes for women also.

And a couple of my cats are getting pretty big now, bring on them dogs, the pussy’s will show them who is boss.

Have a nice day, God. …. Billy

Hey, I’m not fucking done talking yet. :-)

I got a hankering for some cream tuna on biscuits. I don’t have the greatest kitchen facility here and don’t keep flour on hand, but I do have a great imagination. I went to Safeway and bought a tin of ready made buttermilk biscuits that you just bake. Opened a can of cream of mushroom soup (and thinned a bit with water), and a can of tuna and microwaved them together to put over the biscuits. It was fast and easy to do and is very good, feeds two people. I suppose you could add more water or milk and tuna, and some corn starch and make more servings.

According to Ann Johnson over at The Gods Are Bored blog, it will only take seventy million years for life to be rocking and rolling here again. I won’t dispute that, been through it before. But I’m not sure humans will evolve through that again and they can do pretty amazing things with those hands and thumbs. But they fuck too many things up. We’ll miss you little idiots but what the hell, you drive us nuts anyway. Hey, leave a message for the future, okay? Something like, “Dear future inhabitants, please don’t fuck up like we did.”
The Gods Are Bored

I don’t like the part of me that is George Bush, the part of me that is a Christian, Muslim, Jew, etc, etc. I don’t like the part of me that is America with it’s fucked up values, just grow up you monkeys. BBC

Just jokes and stuff today

Because, well, because we are all a big joke. A fucked up fluke of the universe that evolved improperly because of our dumb ass mentors and their dumb ass ideas of God.
….
Reasons to Become a Nurse
1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2. Fashionable shoes and uniforms.
3. Needles: It's better to give than to receive.
4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops eventually.
5. Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases.
6. Interesting aromas.
7. Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly
legible handwriting.
8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends, at work.
10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to
them.
….
New Telephone Greetings.
"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO AMERICA"
"Press "1" if you speak English." "Press '2' to disconnect until you can .

"I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes."

Hi there, I’m Bill Cook’s answering machine, he made me from a recycled VCR and a milk carton. If you leave a message please speak loud and clear.
….
Report cards can make students nervous when having to give a less than desirable report to their parents.
A report card from one boy to his dad read.
"Dad's Report Card"

Love - A
Patience - A
Understanding - A
Intelligence - A
Sense of humor - A
Helpfulness - A
Kindness - A
Wisdom - A
Allowances - C-

It was a birthday card, the inside of which read:
"Let's see if we can't bring that last grade up a bit, Dad!"
….
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
….
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
….
Mouse Balls & Mouse Ball inspector

This was a real memo (or so we are told) sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

'If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

ITALIAN DIVORCE COURT
Angelina and Giuseppi were standing before the judge in divorce court.

Angelina says:
"Your honor, we beena marry 25 years ana Giuseppi he always picka his nose ana when we maka love he a never letsa me on topa. I justa canna taka dis nomore."

The judge listens solemnly and then addresses Giuseppi. "Giuseppi, is disa true? You always a picka your nose and you never let Angelina on top?? What have you gotta say fora yourself?"

Giuseppi says, "Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be onna da bottom. Itsa all go's aback to when I'mma a younga boy.

My poppa, he's a very smarta man. I always do ev'ryting he'sa say. My poppa one day he says, "Giuseppi, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa hava successful life:

Number one, you always keepa your nose clean. ana number two, never screw up."
….
Meme: (biology) element of behavior or culture, idea, etc, that can be considered to replicate itself as it is passed between individuals by non-genetic means.

I’ll bet they make a video game that lets you chase after your sisters with poop on a stick. LOL…. Okay, so maybe we should stop being memes, they just keep passing on stupid things and ideas to the next generation. Na, we serve as good examples of how not to be. LOL…. Besides, they are going to dream up their own shit anyway. But those God memes, they really do need to go away because we are God.
….
With the current cold weather I haven’t been working on the camper so have no progress report at this time. And I have to switch jobs and put a better roof on the camper that I still use for a kitchen as soon as I can.
….
100 years ago marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. …. True or false?
….
Has it ever occurred to you that you are planned obsolescence? But that the plan is a new one? The heavier shit is on my other blog in case you are interested in that.
....
Have a great day, don’t shoot anyone. Well, except for stupid monkeys that are shooting at you. I end this post with these words. To be an atheist is to be nothing more than a monkey, like a Christian or Muslim. You may excuse yourself from that statement Kirsten because you are not really a Muslim, but a seeker. BBC

Dog Friday

Take this with a grain of salt.

Good morning dear readers, yup, it’s Godfuckingdamnit Dog Friday, where some folks honor the dog as if he is God, over humans even.

Bill the Cat here reminding y’all that cats rule!! Yup, in our culture it’s Dog Shish Kebab Friday here at Polly’s Hokey Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse. Okay, admittedly it’s much more popular in the Korea's and other parts of the world, and maybe a few Native Americans eat some of it in secret, but it’s still mighty fine tasting.

We won’t offer any recipes as y’all know how you like your meat marinated and what veggies you want to use and how to cook them. Our choice is over a nice little campfire.

Yum, yum, this Terrier is mighty tasty, and the St. Bernard is out of this world. Oh, look, a stray Irish Setter, here doggy, nice doggy, hum, we need to fatten you up a bit but you’ll make a very nice stew. And a warm hat.

And those yappy little backup auxiliary dogs, you know, the ones under ten pounds. We just slap them on a spit and roast them whole, for snacks ya know. Hey, monkey meat isn’t all that bad either,

The crazy folks at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse wish you all happy snacking. BBC

And now, just to be a bit on the heavy side. Keep in mind that every civilization in the past that put more stock in their pets over the humans are now history in the ruts of time and space. Think about it. Besides, if push comes to shove, and the world got very ugly, many people would eat their dogs. One of the strongest instructions you arrive here with is the instruction to survive. It’s how mankind has managed to survive when all odds have been against him.

Hey, don’t stop reading, I’m not fucking done yet. LOL…. I’m disappointed that not one person yesterday told me that they fully understood the comic I posted.

If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be? Sex, but maybe that isn’t a vice being is we arrive here hardwired that way.

If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be? End greed.

Name the cartoon character you identify with the most. Depends on the day.

If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be? Any day on the boat.

If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be? Einstein.

What is the one thing you lost sold or threw away that you wish you could have back? My youth.

What is your one most important contribution to this world. It’s coming.

What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about? I’m nice on the inside. LOL

What is your most cherished possession? I don’t much cherish possessions, but maybe my property.

What one person influenced your life the most when growing up? My maternal grandmother.

What one word describes you better than any other? I hate these fucking questionnaires that try to limit me to one word. LOL…. Misunderstood.

A question

Do you read the comics for the surface humor in them, or for the deeper psychology and philosophies in them? For example, do you fully understand this one?


Billy is a pussy.
Billy is a pussy.
Yup, Billy is a motherfucking pussy.

I don’t like it cold, I don’t like it too hot either. I like it in the just right zone that this body is comfortable at. That is from around seventy to eighty degrees. I try to not complain about the cold though, and it doesn’t get too bad here, I just deal with it and stay inside a lot. And dress warm when I go out. I like to bitch when it gets to hot though, hell I live for the days when it is too hot just so I can bitch. LOL… Man, we are frigging wired to bitch, and cuss, that is why we are so good at it. And it is also how we fix some things.

Actually, what was the favorite age you enjoyed the most? Most of them were when you where younger, more resilient, when getting screwed a little didn’t bother you so much. But as life goes on and you start getting screwed in more and bigger ways and you start being more aware of the whole world and the way it is, your life isn’t so rosy anymore. It gets to where you just have good days instead of good weeks or months. Looking ahead, I see that they start getting better when, and if, you reach the age to were you just say, “Fuck it, I don’t care anymore. I’m just going let all that shit out there wash over me and enjoy it here in my own little space.” That must be nice, to not care about a war for example, unless it is in your front yard. Mutter, mutter, this will be an on going discussion over time.

I can’t blame Mr. Bush for all this stupid fighting crap. Actually, can we really blame him for anything? Aren’t we supposed to see that idiots can’t be blamed for the stupid things they do when in fact it is everyone else that lets them get away with it? Just asking.

I spotted an interesting article about Albert Einstein in the October issue of Discover. Plainly I’m just as eccentric and unpredictable as to what I will say as he was. I’ll never come up with any great formulas like he did. But to my dying day I will be trying to convince everyone that we are the spirit of God in evolution. No I can’t prove it with math or physics. But I dare anyone to prove this piece of crap omnipotent psychopath Christian God to me. Insert your own favorite word in place of ‘psychopath’.

Like me, Einstein was a pretty rebellious man beating his own drum and he often insulted and distanced people, sound like someone else you know? Does Jesus come to mind? The real Jesus, not the mild guy they display him to be in the bible. Yes, he was loving, but only to his own people, other than that he was really cranky.

BTW, Einstein fully believed in a God, he just didn’t get it figured out before he died that it is us. From statement from the article. “Einstein evidently understood that a science that ignores or seemingly refutes religion would never be fully satisfying to the public – not even to himself.”

There you have it, even the greatest mind of the time believed in some kind of a God. Now, change one word in the above, change ‘religion’ to ‘spirituality’ and read it again.

Kirsten…. I don’t believe that I’ve ever called people "puppets in a string", interesting statement, but you must have read that somewhere else. “How did they become mind controlled, who did it, in what way, terms, or what equipment’s are they using to control peoples mind.”

Who did it? Anyone can do it, with convincing talk, just look at the sales industry, or our governments. Or most of the religions, they get people believing things that in this day and age they really should know better than to believe. Monkeys is as good as word as any being as that is what we evolved from. Yes, I’m insulting at times, I’ve explained that before, it gets people thinking harder, besides, stupid thinking irritates me. And like I say, I’m not trying to win friends or a popularity contest here, if anything at all I’m looking for like minds to build a collective consciousness, agreement, with. Call it “Birds of a feather flock together”.

And here is a thought for you. Lots of things we struggle with today won’t be around in the future. Things like FAT and SKINNY people. In the not so distance future people will be as much a genetically engineered. And many ways the mind thinks will be corrected because lets face it, the mind is not perfect. And many of them are down right defective. Many diseases will go away because they will be programmed out though genetics, diabetes for example will become a thing of the past because the genes that cause those things will be reprogrammed at conception.

How can that be? Because God is a doctor, a scientist, working on improving what Mother Nature created and started in imperfect ways. Now that statement should get the Christians nicely riled up. But it’s true, you don’t have to believe it, but the future will.

Jlee….. No, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t exist anymore. She did in the past, but not anymore. She would think a lot like I do, she would think that she is Mrs. God, or Goddess. Of such anyway. It’s okay, I can get along without her, but I’m not having anything to do with the rest of them anymore.

The only people I’m trying to collect here are the ones that believe or are starting to see that we in fact are God in evolution, that believe in their own omnipresent soul/spirit. And starting to work on understanding it all better. And it’s a journey that will take a while.

Hammer, being as you are a gun and toys man, in a bit I will be posting a picture of interest to you on my other blog. And I will be discussing some more of the God discussion thread. BBC