Just a joke today

A Minister and a Redneck

A pompous minister was seated next to a
redneck on a flight across the country.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The redneck asked for a whiskey and coke,
which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister
if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust,
"I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen
whores than let liquor touch these lips."

The redneck then handed his drink
back to the flight attendant and said,
"Shit, me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Hey!! Don’t you fuck with God

Get out on the streets and do peace protests this weekend you monkeys. It’s more visible than these blogs. More effective, it’s where the media is.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

According to Rudy

[Disclaimer] While God loves to pick on Christians and call them idiots, it is not to say that God thinks all Christians are idiots. Well, not complete idiots anyway, just that they believe really stupid things.

Rudy is obviously new to Gods blog and has not read all of his posts or he would know that extreme Christians get their butts reamed out here until they go away. We have a lot of fun with them here.

Rudy said, “God travels the USA in a 40 ft. Southwind!”

See, see, I told you that the Christian God is a fucking idiot. No respect for the planet at all, travels around in a motor home polluting the planet. The fucking idiot.

Well God is not impressed, God knows that monkeys know how to drive motor homes. Rudy does not know that this monkey has had an eighteen wheeler in forty-eight states and a lot of Canada and stopped driving trucks because he got tired being responsible for the lives of idiots like him doing stupid things around him.

Maybe that idiot God has one of those pretty little Christian crosses hanging on his rear view mirror, thinking that is going to protect his sorry ass. Or a statue of the not so virgin Mary on the dash, maybe a bobble headed one. Ha, ha, ha, what a hoot.

God has seen a lot out on those highways, I’ve seen plenty of those crosses, and the remains of the wrecks that killed those idiots and tore their bodies apart. I’ve seen what an eighteen wheeler can do to a puny motor home when an idiot does something stupid in front of it. And seen them torn to pieces in ravines because the idiot monkeys lost control, or burned to the frame.

Yeah, God is not impressed that monkeys can drive motor homes and he isn’t about to protect them. God could care less if Christian monkeys die, he lets them die of their own stupidity’s everyday because they have no respect for life. And Mrs. God cares even less than God does, she tosses all sorts of things at them in order to get rid of the idiots.

Dumb ass Christians…….. *Rolls eyes*.

I paid my property taxes yesterday, so I am now rent and mortgage free for another year. It’s good to be that free. Have a nice day everyone, you also Rudy, ya dumb ass, be extra careful if you drive today, we are out to get you. It’s nothing personal of course, other than we don’t like extreme Christians, hugs. BBC

Nag, nag, nag

Sewmouse keeps nagging me for a camper project update. For millions of years the girly monkeys have been nagging God for one thing or another when all I want to do is sit on my lazy ass and enjoy the wonder of life. Yesterday started out as a beautiful sunny day so the first thing I did was fix Helen’s breakfast and take it over to her after my morning nap. The second thing I did was sit outside on my love seat for a while enjoying couple cups of coffee. Later it clouded up some and got a bit windy but I did yard work and mowed some of Helen’s and my yards anyway.

As stated before, I haven’t been working on the camper much but being as the girly monkey (hugs) keeps pestering me I installed a few more foam panels. Then I put on a pair of rubber gloves left over from my failed career as a wanna be breast examiner and ‘welded’, glued everything together with spray foam. So other than some leveling off and installing the surface materials the back wall and part of the ceiling is done.

I need to purchase more foam panels before I can do more, I will get some on Friday as they will be on sale that day. Today is laundry day here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse, all you fucking monkeys be good, okay?

Rudy, tell your piece of shit God to fix things or get the fuck off of my planet. Thank you, hugs.

I keep telling you frigging monkeys that God is a spirituality only, but you just don’t get it, and you are really bad at being it. So what you see is what you get, and it’s exactly what you deserve.

Hammer, you don’t understand what I’ve been saying anymore than most others understand. Capitalism the way it is being done is just wrong. Just because they have you convinced it is right doesn’t mean that it is right. Remember, your kids will have to work in that system someday, don’t expect them to be as lucky as you have been because there is a lot of monkeys out there that just want to use them. Hugs….

Fuck, now I’m cranky, piece of shit planet, stupid un-evolved monkeys, my apple tree is smarter than you are. Have a nice day. BBC

Interesting comment

[Update]… This post will be here for another day, maybe longer, the comments may get interesting. I’m just adding a bit to it today Hugs… BBC

Fuck Starbucks

I have coffee, and cocoa, and Kahlua. Why in the hell would I be stupid enough to pay four fifty for a cup of really good coffee when I can make my own for under a buck in the comfort of my own home? Only silly monkeys do things like that.

I got an email of an offer to download some Christian ring tones for my cell phone. Fuck no, God doesn’t want any fucking Christian ring tones.

Do you pray to God? I don’t pray to God, I’m God, why would I pray to myself? God is a fucking idiot. (You are laughing aren’t you?) I do communicate with the cosmos but that is different. I ask nothing of the cosmos, yet in strange ways it takes care of me. On the other hand, I don’t expect much, certainly no special treatment.

Some humor for you monkeys. Yeah, God is also a monkey and likes this stuff, get the fuck over it.

DOE RE MI BEER, by Homer J. Simpson.
DOUGH... the stuff...that buys me beer...
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,
FAR..... the distance to my beer
SO...... I think I'll have a beer...
LA...... La la la la la la beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
That will bring us back to...(Looks into an empty glass)
D'OH!

[End of update]

Jamie posted an interesting comment on my other blog. It’s worth posting here. With my comments of course.

Honestly Billy,

You have to stop insulting the monkeys.

“The Monkey”
By Dave Bartholomew

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to the other, now listen you two,
There's a rumor around that can't be true

That man has descended from our noble race
The very idea is a great disgrace
No monkey has ever deserted his wife
Starved her babies and ruined her life

And you've never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk
Or pass from one on to another
Till they scarcely know who is their mother

Here's another thing a monkey won't do
Go out at night and get on a stew
Or use a gun or club or knife
To take some other monkey's life

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
But brother, he didn't descend from us.

Not to take away from Dave’s interesting words but I’m sure that he did descend from them, but something went wrong along the way, for one thing he dreamed up bogeymen God’s in the sky and called it Christianity and Islam and things like that. These two religions alone cause way to many problems on this planet. Just as many as the atheists do. I’m telling you, it’s a spirituality only, and we are it.

Yesterday I went to George’s home that he is getting ready to put on the market and finished up a few last things. In the evening a load of firewood arrived at Helen’s so today I will stack it in the woodshed and start splitting it up.

A good joke

A foursome of guys and a foursome of women are at the first tee for a round of golf. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet.

She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead."

Some nonsense

Posted is a picture of the boat that burnt in the marina the other day.

A Spring Cleaning Cheat Sheet...For Men.

Broom (brum) - a long handled brush used for sweeping (also doubles as a mode of transportation for your mother)

Vacuum (vak' u em) - much like the leaf blower except it sucks in, instead of blowing out. Don't let this alarm you. It isn't broken and doesn't need more torque, speed, RAM or whatever it is you did to the dishwasher.

Dust pan (DUH) - Contrary to popular belief, this is where you sweep the dirt, not under the hallway area rug.

Dust Cloth (dust kloth) - A cloth designated for removing tiny particles of dirt from every flat surface of the house. Hint: look for your old "lucky shirt".

Bucket (buk' it)- Cylindrical container used for holding soapy water when mopping the floor. Also known as your mid-evil knight helmet when you're playing with our seven-year-old.

Mop - (mop) a bundle of coarse yarn, rags or cloth fastened at the end of a stick. You'll remember this as your dance partner at the New Year's Eve party last year.

Toilet Brush (toi' lit brush) - Used for scrubbing the inside of the toilet bowl. I don't care what this looks like, you may NOT use my shower luffa again!

Oven Cleaner (uv' en Klen' er) - No, not the teenager. This is an actually product that you buy, spray in the oven and wipe out two hours later. You won't need your welder's mask for this task, but if it makes you feel more dangerous, go ahead.

Sponge (spunj) - used to gently wash away food particles from dinnerware. It won't be necessary to use your 300psi Power wash set. That was given to you in hopes of cleaning the EXTERIOR of the house (hint hint).

Squeegee (skwe' je) - Same principle as washing the car windshield, and yes, real men DO squeegee!

Final Note:
While Duct tape may be a wonderful plumbers aid, it's really not the best solution for keeping the bathroom towels in place, and Jamie's teacher is still asking why his homework was stuck to his forehead last week. For these reasons, I have hidden the duct tape and distributed your picture to the local hardware stores. Don't make me call Duct Tape Anonymous again.

Take your time, everything will be fine. If you need me, I'll be in the basement cleaning up the smoke damage from your "do it yourself" electrical rewiring incident last week.

I’m not sure what category this quote fits in, but I find it to be interesting. I do find it too be true except with the few friends that have ‘grown up’ and gotten un-needy.

Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring (glaring) defects in other people's characters.

I shouldn't

I shouldn't even look at the news anymore. There is so much greed, disrespect for the planet, people using and abusing people, killing each other, that it just drives me nuts. This world is morally bankrupt.

And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it but let it happen.

ARGH !!!!!

Living on a boat

A lady sent me an email asking for my thoughts about living on boats as her son wants to live on one when he retires in a few years. As long as I wrote it I may as well also post it here.

Living on a boat lives in the brains of two very different types of people. The hard core water lover and the dreamers that have some sort of romantic notion about it.

The hard core water lover that has lived on boats for years accept the harsh realities and dangers of living on a boat and they stick with it anyway. Boats, unless a person can afford a large one of sixty feet or bigger are very limited. You have to take up a pretty basic lifestyle because you just can’t have all the things you have in a home.

Times have changed, things have changed. It’s getting very expensive to keep a boat that you can’t easily move around on a trailer. Moorage rates are going way up, yard and pullout fees are going way up. Many marinas don’t allow liveaboards anymore. Regulations are becoming more complex and of course more expensive.

That is why I sold my boat, it’s just too expensive to own one. One advantage to owning one though is that you don’t have to mow the grass. (laughs)…. If a person wants to just live on a boat and not take the boat anywhere I suggest a houseboat or barge, but they don’t allow them in the two local marinas. The liveaboard population in the Port Angeles marina is going down, it’s just getting to expensive.

There may be cheap places in the states where a person could still live on a boat but I don’t know where. I’ve known a lot of folks that live on sailboats and they spend a lot of time at sea traveling around the world so that saves them mooring fees. But doing so is also getting more complex, and at some locations, dangerous. Roaming the high seas requires the mindset that you may die any moment and being okay with it. Roaming the high seas as also seldom as romantic as it seems. Your foundation is a large body of water at the whims of nature and it doesn’t sit still very much. A long cruise often consists of days and days of boredom and constant watch to navigation and such thing as that. But to offset that boredom are days and moments of sheer terror. (laughs)…. Such a life is only for the die hard mariners.

Living on a boat in the Puget Sound or such an area as it requires at least a sixty foot boat in my mind. My 32 foot boat really took a beating out there at times and I would never own that size of boat again. I feel much safer in my 18 foot boat in a three foot chop. Living on a power boat is expensive to take cruising, even if it has a diesel engine in it. Boats are not fuel efficient, period. And fuel in marinas is more expensive as they have little competition.

I love the water, but I would never live on a boat again, they are just too limiting, and sometimes too damn scary, even as fearless as I am. A person can always rent a houseboat for a week or two each year to fulfill that need in them, it’s much cheaper than owning one.

I’m sticking with my 18 foot boat because it is so much more versatile. I can trailer it to many places and that is a lot cheaper than taking a larger power boat to the same place. Besides, my small boat can also go to the lakes, it’s not limited to just the oceans.

I’ve bought a camp trailer that I’m restoring for day trips to the beaches and overnight camping in the mountains. I have a lifetime National Parks pass so I get in them free and the campsites are half price to me. A small boat and a camper just makes more sense to me these days.

Not that I think that folks with lots of money shouldn’t live on boats, to each his/her own. They can always try it for a while to see how it works out and sell the boat if it doesn’t, they won’t lose too much money on it. (laughs)….

Actually, I made money on both of my big boats, but I just got very lucky, that isn’t the norm. The norm is to lose money, a lot of it. These are my thoughts on living on boats, but don’t pay any attention to me because I’m crazy. (laughs)….. Bill

[Added note]
I do know some couples that still live on their boats, they are in the forty to fifty foot range and are well designed. But they just live on them and seldom take them out. Yesterday afternoon a boat in the marina burned up, fires on boats are very scary. I haven’t been down to see it yet but I’m guessing from what I heard on the radio that it’s a total loss.

Time out

I’m taking a vacation from blogging. It’s a waste of time trying to tell the monkeys on this planet what they are, and how they should be living. Let them figure it out, or not. And I’m sure they won’t. BBC

It was?

There were more people at the Peace Protest yesterday than I’ve ever seen there, it was wonderful to see. I hate these stupid wars, I don’t care what clans of monkeys are fighting them. Spirit hates wars, and thinks more people should protest them by getting out on the streets.

So yesterday was also St. Patrick’s day. I saw a picture on a ladies blog that reminds me of some I when I was kid. Hard times, good times. Simple times, I like simple times. I'm part Irish, an Irish lady once asked me to marry her, good woman, no fancy needs, maybe I should have. Good Irish women don’t have a lot of fancy needs, until they get Americanized. But not all of them let that happen to them.

I went out in the evening with some friends and had some of the best corned beef and cabbage than I’ve had in a long time, I had two servings. Other than that I didn’t much notice that it was St. Patrick’s day.
Never mind the green hair...... LOL..... BBC

Nice day

Nice day isn’t it? Big peace protest here today, I’ll be there of course.

I’m not going over to Laurel Ann’s anymore, her husband is an angry ASSHOLE !!! Life is about choices and I chose to not be around assholes. I’m pretty easy going and I don’t need that crap.

Hey, have a nice day…. BBC

Hum

BERLIN (Reuters) - A brothel in Germany hopes to capitalize on the growing number of retirees by offering them a 50 percent discount for sex in the afternoon. The "Pascha" in the western city of Cologne has introduced reduced rates for sex sessions for clients aged 66 and above -- provided they can prove they are old enough…….. Hum

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A California woman with an inoperable brain tumor may not smoke marijuana to ease her pain even though California voters have approved its medicinal use, a U.S. appeals court ruled on Wednesday…… Hum

Yesterday I was talking to another monkey called Bill and he started talking about metallurgy. He was telling me about a mining and smelter site he once worked at where they made a big pond of mining tailings and then put old car parts in it and applied some electricity to it and the old car parts were converted to copper. That is the copper in the tailings duplicated the car parts as it dissolved the metal parts. Very interesting, I’ve never heard of that, if it is even true….. Hum

He had some interesting things to say about gold and diamonds also. But I figured out years that they are artificially inflated in price. Gold and diamonds have useful industrial uses but their most valuable use is as jewelry and that of course is just an ego trip. If you monkeys didn’t put so much stock in all that you could buy a diamond for a quarter. But because you do put so much value in those things they can keep the prices up. Hum, you silly monkeys….. Hum

Maybe the Jerry monkey I mentioned the other day isn’t going to be moving his trailer here. He hasn’t showed up with it yet. ….. Hum

Nature doesn't take much of a break here, most things are green the year around. But those things that do take a short break are starting to bud again, spring comes early here and I mowed Helen's lawn yesterday. It was a very nice day with a light rain in the evening, will top off my water barrel.

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

A new post on my other blog today also. And it’s not a long winded one. LOL. … BBC
My other blog

News bits & other shit

This is a rambling post, no need for you to read it.

First, I have a little humor for you monkeys, being as you so badly need that.

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bankbook which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

I know, many of my postings seem like a big mess, I’m not trying to make all of it coherent. I’m just posting so that its all out there for the future to look at. I was going to post the following yesterday but I got side tracked with the post I did. So I will post this today, I often write my posts a day or two in advance, sometimes months in advance. I had a dream the other day, my dreams are different that most folks, but think I will wait until Sunday to post it. If I post it at all.

Teaching you

I was given two bags of coffee beans, Laurel Ann said that she had a grinder so I took them over there. It is just a one serving unit so it took me a while to do just one bag. Then it struck me, her little grinder just had a rotating blade in the bottom of it, my blender will process coffee beans so I brought the other bag home and did them here in one shot.

Just a few thoughts

Poor Rosie has been struggling with some of her goats, trying to save sick ones. I can feel for her but life isn’t a Disney Bambi film, may never be. I’m thinking back to my youth and hiking into the hills to visit the old Greek goat man there. He had a business, he couldn’t afford but so much time and energy on sick goats. If he had to he culled them, depending on what he thought was wrong with them sometimes we ate one. Life is like that, but he always honored the spirit of the goat.

Us monkeys (male and female) are sure fascinated with tits, I know that I am. When I talk about monkeys and tits some readers interest picks up. He, he, he…..

Progress at the local zoo compound

I’m not always on the computer researching and writing and visiting other blogs, I do many other things also, I get out there and have unique experiences for one thing, and I make interesting observations. Most days I work for a while on the last load of firewood that Helen got. In just a few more days it will all be split and stacked. And this wood is for the next winter season, about four months worth, it’s only March so I’m well ahead of the game. Soon I’ll have her order another load.

And I may have another monkey staying here for a while. I call this monkey Jerry, nice enough guy, but has never found a place to settle it seems. He’s having problems with the monkey with tits he has been living with so he has to move. I’m letting him put his 24 foot trailer here for a while. But I’ve made it clear that he is to keep looking for another place. I’ve only agreed to his being here for two weeks, will extend it if things are going okay after that. I’ve laid down the rules, will see if he follows them, God isn’t running any democracy here, it’s a monarchy. He is going to help around here some cleaning the place up, he says, we will see.

Groovy Lady….. I can’t rightly say that I’ve ever seen what would be a good catholic, hell, I was raised a catholic more or less, mostly less. And if you can’t be a good catholic why be one at all? I try to avoid so called sexual moral issues, monkeys get into Fords and fuck, president monkeys fuck aides on white house couches and if we catch them at it we get to have some fun with it, it’s always been that way and it will always be that way. I don’t know why that stupid religion is still around.

I don’t need a bogeyman God to excuse me for the dumb ass things I’ve done either, it’s the other monkeys that taught me how to do all that. And I’m not going to a confession and telling a dumb ass priest how many times I pounded my pud last week, it isn’t any of that perverts fucking business what God is doing with his pud. Or what you are doing with your vibrator.

3/14/2007 (this is a diary entry)
I went to Carlsberg yesterday to pick up a free twin mattress that a monkey with tits (and no bra) was giving away on Yahoo Freecycle because I’ve just been sleeping on a few scraps of foam since my air mattress sprung a leak. She is a nice little monkey, interesting. Her head was shaved so I asked her if she had cancer. No, she works as a care giver and about eight years ago she was helping a lady that did have cancer so she shaved her head to make the lady feel better, and decided that she likes it that way. We talked about it for a few minutes and she let me feel it, I’m one step closer to getting a buzz cut. I’m just trying to figure how to raise some money for the world food bank at the same time.

There just has to be people that would love to be the ones that get to buzz my hair and are willing to pay for tickets to get into a drawing to do it. Karen, I can see where hubby would like a buzz, it gets to be a pain in the butt taking care of hair. Some guys look decent with long hair and ponytails but I can’t stand hair dropping and touching my ears. Give your little monkey hubby a hug for me.

I went to see if I need to file tax forms this year, I don’t, will never have to again unless I go back to work or win a lottery. Nice to not have to bother with that bullshit anymore. I enjoy retirement and not working for other monkeys anymore, and I’m not likely to win a lottery because I never remember to buy tickets.
(End of diary entry)

MERIDA, Mexico - President Bush, working to rebuild strained U.S.-Mexico relations, promised Tuesday he would do his best to get a deeply divided U.S. Congress to change American immigration policies that are hated south of the border. Relations between the two border countries have only grown worse since Bush signed a law calling for construction of more than 700 miles of new fencing along the long border the two countries share.

Mexico needs economic help, no question about it. But hey, the third richest man in the world is a Mexican. How about that fucking monkey helping them up instead of fucking them over. And that fence is bullshit, I swear, the monkeys on this planet are idiots.

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Israel has recalled its ambassador in El Salvador after he was found drunk and naked with sex toys lying nearby in the yard of his official residence, Israeli media reports said on Monday. (He, he, he, those silly Jewish monkeys should keep it inside)

DENVER - A 61-year-old Denver woman remained in jail Monday, charged with scamming $400,000 from the state since 1994 through a complex unemployment benefits scheme. (That greedy monkey)

TOKYO - Asian stocks plunged Wednesday after Wall Street chalked its second-biggest point drop in four years and rattled already nervous markets worldwide. (Welcome to today’s stock markets where it’s all about greed, greed, greed.) "The world economy seems to be remaining on an upward trajectory," Cohen said. (Yeah, yeah, just buy something, those rich fucks want fancier boats and they want you to pay for them, I swear, you are all fools, now get back to work for the man so you can pay for them)

SANTA FE, New Mexico (Reuters) - New Mexico outlawed cockfighting on Monday in a victory for animal welfare groups, leaving Louisiana as the last state in the country where the controversial practice is legal. (Is monkey cock sucking outlawed anywhere?)

DHAKA (Reuters) - Rich and powerful Bangladeshis now being sought by corruption busters have started ditching their luxury cars and illegal pets to avoid being tracked down and caught, police said on Tuesday. (The fucking rich monkeys are the same anywhere you go it seems. They don’t lift a country up, they just spoil themselves)

Fewer and fewer people over the face of the planet are no longer believing in a christian or muslim bogeyman God in the sky. Or they are at least questioning all that nonsense. But they aren’t discarding those stupid religions fast enough. And many of their monkey mentors are still very good at brainwashing many of them.

This planet needs better zookeepers on it, I’m tired of those fucking monkeys running things here. I should go to Laurel Ann’s today, the sweetie has my pants fixed already and I need to get their wood cart back to them that I brought home to work on.

Make sure you spend all your money today, charge something if you want it, the rich capitalist monkeys are depending you so they can have even better toys. He, he, he, you suckers… Have a good day. BBC

Ryan said

“I haven't decided if your a genius or just very angry. Can you be both?”

Ryan, ever meet a genius that wasn’t angry about something?

I just happen to be angry about the stupidity and condition of mankind. I vent on my blog and that is where you see it. Things on a blog look and feel different, for example on your blog you’re funny, in person I’m guessing you are a bit of a let down if I’m looking to be humored.

In person I’m a pretty likable guy with a lot of friends, and of course with a few enemies, ever meet a genius without enemies? I use my blogs to vent, were you here in person we would just enjoy a few beers together and fuss about the condition of mankind. Or talk about all the other things people talk about, maybe women and boobs and how hard they are to get along with anymore.

Hey, ever meet a genius that wasn’t also an idiot? We walk a fine line you know, but this idiot genius is peaceful and wants peace, world peace. Take care, have a great day. Try to avoid those idiot christians and muslim monkeys with guns and bombs, that is an anger you should worry about.

Hugs, BBC

Visit the zoo in my other blog today.
My other blog

Good morning monkeys

I was out talking to my apple tree being as I had the need to talk to something smarter than you high school and college educated monkeys. Trying to decide to shave, or not to shave, my head. Maybe I will compromise and do a quarter inch fuzz thing. Maybe dye it. Sewmouse of course will suggest a tin foil hat. LOL….. What do you think? Not that I give a fig what you monkeys think. He, he, he.

Alistair said….. “a spiritual path is a personal one, not political.”…… Alistair, you are so full of monkey shit that you don’t know what you are talking about. Hugs, you big turd. LOL…. BTW, have you located another cute little monkey girl with nice boobs to entertain you yet? Some of those little girly monkeys have pretty nice boobies. He, he, he.

Sewmouse has an interesting argument for reinstating the draft, you can read about it here.
Sew's argument for the draft

MONA said... “& I was wondering...what a 'spiritual mind' is...can a Spirit have a Mind? I thought Mind could only exist as the subtle part of body..human or animal.”

Is that what they thought you over there Mona? Tune out to their teachings, tune in to you inner self to find your spiritual mind.

Rosie…. I know little about Carl Jung or his psychological theories. I have my own truths, and to me they are not frigging theories. You silly monkeys call every frigging thing a theory because you refuse to settle on any kind of a truth. How in the hell do you expect to advance this way? Just call something a fucking fact for once. If it gets disproved later then so be it, but call it a fact for now. Some of you frigging (he, he, he) monkeys are still calling gravity a theory, or don’t know the concept at all.

Nomas….. Yeah, those folks should do what the monkey pope does, instead of making more babies they should just play with themselves. That pope needs a good little cock sucking nun monkey to keep him company. That monkey should discover booby’s.

Anne, I know that the universe is big, and getting bigger. And the cosmos is even much bigger. I know that there are planets out there capable of having life as we know it on them. BUT THEY DON’T!!!!! This is all we have baby, and we had damn well better take care of it. Instead of looking for life out there they should be spending YOUR MONEY understanding and fixing the social problems on this planet. Show me the damn life claimed to be out there, or just shut up about it. There isn't much for intelligent life here, just a bunch of monkeys fucking around.

Scott Adams was talking about the Coriolis effect on his blog. A dictionary states that a body moving in a rotating frame of reference experiences the Coriolis force acting perpendicular to the direction of motion and to the axis of rotation; on Earth the Coriolis effect deflects moving bodies to the right in the Northern Hemisphere and to the left in the Southern Hemisphere.

Please note that it does not say a body of water, and it says nothing about how water will go down a sink or toilet drain, as if anyone should actually give a fuck. The Coriolis effect is a thing of nature and a sink drain isn’t, it’s just a fucking sink drain. Actually, the interesting thing about the Coriolis effect to me is that if you put a big drum on a boat and rotate it at 400 to 500 rpm that said boat will move against, into the wind.

Don’t read my other blog today, where I actually expect you to listen to what I have to say. I’m insulting on it today, maybe you pussy monkeys can’t handle the truth.
My other blog

Try to be peaceful and un-needy today you stupid monkeys. BBC

Describe God to me

No, let me describe God to you. God is the collective consciousness of all. Now can you see what a mess God is? Don’t confuse God with Nature, or what I often call Mrs. God, she is still a mystery in many ways also. But the people on this planet have to get over this nonsense that there is a bogeyman in the sky God directing their fate and take responsibility for the fate of mankind. Accept that they are a part of this collective consciousness.

Lets see what I have for a little humor here. A beautiful young blonde woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. When her name was called out in the court foyer, she brushed her hair, checked her make-up, took a deep breath, and walked into the court and took to the witness stand.

The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded. "Not guilty," the blonde answered emphatically.

The prosecutor then approached the blonde and said, "Is it true that on the 11th of December last year you committed acts of gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf who was waving a union jack on the roof of a car, whilst travelling at over 100 mph through the centre of London in a blizzard and you were totally nude?"

The blonde composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council and calmly said, "What was the date again?"

A blonde goes over to her friends' house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt. "Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday' tee- shirt on Monday?" "Oh no!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant: 'Tits Go In Front.'"

A new post on my other blog.
My other blog

Preaching-teaching & bitching since – Forever

Yves, of course there are good and bad guys in the world. Or good and bad minds. I find it hard to believe that in England that there isn’t also some there. Are you saying that you have no jails or prisons there? I’ve watched English websites and blogs for years now, I know that there are a lot of drunks and screwed up people in England also.

“As far as I know, no one wants to kill me, therefore there are no bad guys.”…… That is an interesting, but narrow minded statement. :-)… Do you live in a root cellar? Do you think the fuck wit president of my country is a nice guy? He’s a fucking idiot !!!! Don’t you see all the wars and crime out there. There are people that don’t like you, would kill you in a heartbeat, maybe it wouldn’t be premeditated but it could happen. Sorry, but that is just how the world is, things like that happen everyday.

Try to forgive my preaching sometimes, who wouldn’t expect God to do some preaching. ….. Dude. I preach, teach, bitch, and sometimes get weird, get the fuck over it. LOL

I have a porta potty and use it all the time. It’s one of those two piece ones where the super duper turdy things are stored in the bottom and the upper part is a fresh water reservoir for the flush water. I don’t use that function, I use a one gallon spray bottle like gardeners use to spray the poopers out of the bowl, it takes a lot less water that way and does a much better job.

So I went to Laurels yesterday, took a shower, and did some weed whacking for her, and a few other little things and then we looked at some cool things she had on her computer. Her server was down so we couldn’t get on the Internet. She had a funny George Carlin thing so I burnt it to a CD to bring home. I left two pairs of pants with her to put new pockets in and borrowed Bob’s electric chainsaw so I can cut up some pallets I have here. She also trimmed the back of my hair some.

Some friends of mine that used to live here were in town so I went to Beer Church to visit with them for a while in the evening. It was also Rodney’s birthday and he was already drunk on his ass at 6:00 PM. I didn’t want to put up with that shit so as soon as I got there I tossed one of his arms around my shoulder and drug his drunk ass out to the van so that Judy could take him home. A few of the customers bought me beers in appreciation. Sometimes we just have to accept that some of our friends are fucking idiots. But that doesn’t mean I have to put up with them when they're are like that. The next time I see him I will ream him a new asshole for making a damn fool of himself and being a pain in the ass for Judy. She puts up with that all the time but if she is willing to do that I guess they deserve each other.

Any fucking way, gotta go. Have a good day. BBC

Freemasons

Yves….. I would love to take up sex again, but I’m on a strange spiritual journey, women don’t get it and I’m not into, um, supermarket sex anymore. You know, sex with just anyone. It was okay when I was younger but I’ve come to see it as somewhat of a spiritual act between two spiritual people. Just try finding a woman that can hold your hand and look into your eyes some during that act, I haven’t. I don’t know what most women are anymore, but they sure are not very spiritual. I’ve got great genes or I wouldn’t still be alive but I’m not interested in producing more children, that is a big responsibility and I can’t afford it, the world is over populated anyway. I sure do like to talk about sex though. :-)….. Wisdom comes with age and many struggles and putting things in proper perspective, you really don’t get it out of books or by going to college.

Alistair… In deep sleep you do not decide what you dream about, one part of your brain decides while the other side is asleep. You can only decide what to dream about in light sleep. I can do a deep sleep dream thing when I’m wide-awake though. I’ve learned how to let my brain run free and have some fun with itself. It’s very interesting.

What are the odds that as I write this that the pope is jacking off? How many Catholic priests are? Hey, just wondering.

Laurel Ann, whom I’ve known since moving here, one of my dearest friends with tits (he, he, he) made the graphic posted here, has invited me over to show me some things on her computer this afternoon. She likes a lot of the mushy things that I do so I’m guessing she has some interesting things to show me. I can’t watch Utube with my computer being as they are too much for my modem connection and she has a number of them that she would like to show me. I like her mind, it gets a little goofy once in a while, I can’t convince her that we are God and Goddess, but she is a good down to earth woman with few needs, one of the few I know.

I’ve know this man for years (I spend a lot of time observing and learning about people, having experiences with them) that wanders around this area a lot. Mostly he is a loner and lives in the woods most of the time. I'm one of the few people he will talk to very much. He spends a lot of time at the library learning about aircraft building, science, and things like that. He can’t keep his mind focused well enough to do much work but he is generally pleasant and interesting to talk to.

When he is taking his meds properly. When he screws that program up he starts getting pretty weird and out there. Then the Freemasons are after him again, I don’t get it, why do people that are out of balance always think the Freemasons are after them? The best employer I ever worked for was a Freemason, they are pretty good people in general, they have to go through a lot just to be a Freemason. I think that those that have a bone to pick with a Freemason are people that has somehow screwed one over and lost a damn good friend and supporter.

The last thing I would worry about is a Freemason coming after me. People that are paranoid about that don’t seem to understand that if a Freemason was after them that they wouldn’t be here to be paranoid about it because they would already be dead. I’m not saying that all their religious views are right, but they are good people. So just go hug a Freemason….. BBC

New post on my other blog this morning also.
My other blog

Living will

I, ……………. , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Martini
Cold Beer
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Mexican food
French fries
Pizza
Ice cream
Sex
Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Okay, this is a bit of a long post, sorry about that. No I’m not !!! You can stop frigging reading anytime you like. :-)

ATLANTA (AP) - Georgia is poised to introduce two literature classes on the Bible in public schools next year, a move analysts say would make the state the first to take an explicit stance endorsing _ and funding _ biblical teachings.

Ah, fuck man, just blow my brains out right now. Or blow that fucking bible belt state off the map.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

He, he, he, you don’t know at how many levels this news is so funny to me. Welcome to America you idiots. LOL….ROFLMAO…. And this fuck wit is looking at running for preznut in 08. Please, please, just blow my fucking brains out now, I’ve had enough of those stupid fucking right side republican christian monkeys fucking up this country.

Has there ever been a poll done about which is the most insane country on this planet? I think the whole world knows who would be at the top.

“Fuck Yes: The Guide to the Happy Acceptance of Everything”…. Barbara Doduk, I’ve never heard of that book, but I find it hard to accept some things. Yes, unity would be wonderful wouldn’t it? Thank you for agreeing with me that we are God, you fucking get it !!!!! Hugs.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." Chinese Proverb
I spotted that quote on a Tacoma broads blog. Trying to see if I can get in trouble for saying broad. He, he, he. I should be careful, she lives close enough to drive over here and slap the shit out of me. LOL.. But only a well adjusted woman can be okay with being called a broad. I’m not assuming that any of us are well adjusted though.

Karen added me to her blog roll. I guess she likes crazy people? Maybe she likes what she sees, but being new to my blog she doesn’t understand that sooner or later I am going to piss her off. LOL…. Only the big people, the big thinkers have stuck with me. Her blog is pretty cool, check it out.
Karen’s blog

So the other evening I’m standing next to a lady talking to her and she was saying something about her boobs being lonely or something like that. So I reach over and fondle a boob for about five seconds (she wasn’t wearing a bra) and she really liked that. Actually I did also seeing as I haven’t touched a boob for almost two years. But I wasn’t going to let that go on, I figure it is her boyfriends job to keep her boobs happy. And I damn sure don’t want her sexually, nice boobs though. He, he, he.

Charlie is back in town. No shit. He is this double dumb ass dipshit from Missouri. But I’m going to post about him on my other blog in order to keep this post as short as I can.
My other blog

Kath Bee, nah, my "pissedness" is just getting started it seems. Ah, I have some very cheerful days, if I don’t look at the news. By the time I die I will be one cranky son of a bitch. I’ll only be happy when I’m pinching the ladies butts in the nursing home. LOL… You are right though, those of us that are really paying attention to the world and all the stupid crap in it do start to get absent minded. I spend so much time on my computer reading and writing that if it wasn’t for Helen next door keeping track of parts of my life I would be in trouble in some ways.

But she keeps track of when I’m supposed to pay my bills and things like that. And finds and reminds me of other things I enjoy, like plays and such. That is good, I need the distractions from all the crap out there. And she is 84 and it gives her something to do and makes her feel useful so that is good. And of course she is useful in that way, very useful, it’s great to have her for a neighbor. And she finely stopped pestering me for sex. LOL….. Well, she doesn’t mention it very often anyway.

A new poll finds that President Bush's father, George Bush, is the most popular living ex-president. Apparently, voters were just excited to hear the words 'George Bush' next to the phrase 'ex-president.'

Iraq’s Newest Export: Refugees: 1.6 million Iraqis have been displaced within the country. As many as 1.8 million have left Iraq, with 3,000 fleeing daily. Saudi Arabia is building a 560-mile border fence to keep them out. As many as 700,000 Iraqi refugees now live in Jordan. More than 60,000 live in Sweden. Only 202 were admitted to the United States last year.

Really, America is so selfish in some ways.

Have you ever noticed that people that don’t like their critics and won’t listen to them are always screwing up? But your critics can be your best friends if you listen to them. Oh well.

Interesting planet and nature photos at.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/goodplanets/

An Award

You know that you want to send this to some deserving person.

I tried out my new toaster oven, baked some biscuits in it, it works ten times better than my old one ever did. Grrrr. My air mattress started leaking yesterday, sometimes things just seem to happen in bunches.

I’m pissed

Just so pissed

I can’t find something I had in my hand just a few minutes ago

So tell me something, can you pinpoint the exact day and hour that you lost your mind?

Are you sure you ever had one?