Hello !

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.

Religions are God’s way of proving intelligent design is full of crap. Think about it.

So I was talking to a lady the other night and learned that the squatter monkey whose trailer I moved out of my yard has screwed up a lot lately, and screwed others over. He got stopped one night and his rig got impounded, I’m not sure why, then he got it out of impound and a few nights later got stopped again, out of town. And a lady was with him, he told her to tell the cop that she was a hitchhiker and jumped out of the rig and ran into the woods. After the cops let her go she had to walk into town.

He has been on the lamb since, still free I suppose because he sneaked by Monday night and put a padlock on his trailer door, then while I was at Rick’s shop yesterday he, or someone came by and towed it away. That saved me the trouble of doing it.

If that little monkey hasn’t grown up by the age of thirty-seven, maybe he never will. I did a few stupid things when I was younger but I was man enough to take accountability for them.

Hammer, don’t you recognize fiction when you read it? Kirsten didn’t go out in the dessert on a camel for Easter and sleep on the sands and ride camels for five hours a day. That fruitcake isn’t in good enough shape to do something like that. And if she can piss on limestone and bore a hole in it when centuries of rain, wind and water hasn’t worn down the sculptures there she has some really caustic piss. Don’t you see that woman is a frigging fruitcake? She got some pictures off of the Internet and made herself up a story. You don’t really believe the crap she writes do you? She must be on some really good drugs, or is just plain whacko.

What’s disappointing to me, is too know that there is nothing bigger than me out there. BBC