Joe was interesting

I was working in a Ford dealership years ago and Joe was a mechanic that worked in the stall next to me. His goal in life was to be a sort of working hippie and have everything his way. It was his philosophy to live simply, drive an old VW Bug, chase women for free sex and not take anything too serious. If something wasn’t going his way he would figure out to make it go his way. He was a pretty easy going and likable guy.

We had an old roll around battery charger in the shop, it worked but the gauges and timer didn’t work, and often the cooling fan would start squealing and Joe wanted a new one but the owner wouldn’t spring for one.

One day Joe nonchalantly rolls the battery charger under a car he is working on and then goes over to the wall and trips the hoist lever and stands there peacefully staring off into space. When the car had crushed the charger about half way down Clem noticed what was happening and hollered at him. Then Joe seemed to become aware and looked over and said, “Opps, how did that happen?” We got a new battery charger that afternoon.

I liked Joe.

Vinicio….. Are you reading this? Kirsten thinks you can take a test designed by monkeys to see how spiritual you are, isn’t that a hoot? You don’t need validation in order to decide what you are. She has some fun sides to her, but spirituality she is an absolute fruitcake.

God is a member of GRUMPY U, the bad mood dudes since 1937.

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -Albert Einstein

The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't never had one. Never."
"That's hard to believe. Nothing ever happened to you at all?"
"Well, a rattler bit me one time."
"Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"No way! The dang varmint bit me on purpose."

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The high-rolling life of the world's top hedge fund managers just keeps getting better. The latest survey on hedge fund salaries shows that, for the first time, founding executives at three major hedge funds took home well over $1 billion last year. And the average pay for the top 25 hedge fund managers rose a staggering 57 percent to $570 million in 2006 from 2005, according to industry publication Alpha Magazine.

There sure are a lot of suckers on this planet isn’t there? They just keep making undeserving people richer while they work their butts off.

I’m going for a walk on the beach this morning, you monkeys try to be peaceful while I’m gone.