Monday, October 02, 2006

Have to relax

I have to relax for a few days so this will be a light post, I’m lying to myself of course, it keeps getting longer but you will find it very interesting, especially the argument with God part. With the computer going down and having to take it to a computer God because it was over my ability to figure out I’ve been setting up the computer Mary left me when she died, and have put it on line. And there is a lot monkey crap in it that I have to clean up. Had to go into the registry and do some things in it, the registry does not scare me, I know what to do in it. And I back it up before doing things in there, in case I do happen to screw up. Our monkey brains are always doing stupid things. Hell, some times I go some were to do something and just find myself standing somewhere wondering why I’m there. I can drive all the way through town (good thing it’s not that big) to the other side and think "What in the hell am I doing here?"
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My mind is always so full of thoughts coming to me, lessons being presented to me in strange ways. And I get some of them over and over again until I learn to change how I think, see, and approach those things. I’ve gotten a lot of lessons from women in the last nine years. I’m into folks like John Grey, they are into screwing their minds up even more with a lot of the monkey crap in books that are coming out these days. They read monkey poop instead of reading I’m Okay, You’re Okay. They don’t even know what they are, they think they have complete free will. I’ll talk more about that some other time. No shit, this is going to be a short post, for me. LOL. I’m a fucking liar, the force won’t let Billy stop.
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I have to go to the bank and get some of my backups, install programs, things like that. Tune this computer up to my liking. I’ve written for hours the last few days, there is so much coming at me, but I have to become a even filter, get more monkey crap out of what I write for spirit. And play some, I haven’t played for days.
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A talk with spirit often goes a lot like this while I was writing something to post on my blog:
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Have a good day all of you Gods. Billy is a wiser God now, and getting wiser, but he never shuts the fuck up, hasn’t for billions of years. Shut up you little bastard, and click on the POST icon so that evolution can move on in the proper direction…. Fuck you Billy, I’m not done talking yet…. Fuck you God, you just never shut the fuck up, fuck you…. No, fuck you and keep typing…. Billy tired, wants some sleep…. Tough shit…. Fuck you…. No, fuck you, keep typing…. You know God, you can be such an asshole, why don’t you just shut the fuck up and let these idiots kill themselves?…. Because they are the biggest miracle in the cosmos, it allowed us to evolve into higher beings than we are in the cosmos, with thumbs so we can create in a different way, a higher way, take this cosmic sexual debris and make other things with it. And if they kill themselves and this planet, this beautiful thing will end because it’s the only planet in the cosmos with this kind of life on it. And those monkeys that are saying there may be other life like this out there, shut up and stop playing with your brains, you don’t know shit. You just have a lot of monkey shit in your brains and you are wasting money looking for something when you should be saving cosmic souls on earth. Don’t get God started, you just get God pissed when all we want to do is love you. How can we love someone that is trying to kill part of us? Is killing part of us. Stupid fucking monkeys, leave our soul alone, stop writing stupid shit about us, we are trying to evolve higher here.
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And here is a lesson if you understand how I present it in my unique way, plus a little about my earlier life.
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Charlie Brown in Peanuts just doesn’t get it does he? He keeps doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. But he will never get to kick that football until the evil part of Lucy is removed and becomes loving and peaceful. See Charlie as good part of spirit, the all, God. See Lucy as an un-evolved part of spirit, the alter ego part. He will never get to kick that ball until she evolves into Gods good spirit side. Charlie should just refuse to kick it again, walk away from her. That’s what I’ve learned to do. I’ve stopped trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I don’t recall if those two have ever hugged, but I would refuse to try to kick that ball again until after a hug. Then if she pulled it back again, I would refuse to have anything at all to do with her because she is anti-god and not my friend. I would stay away from her. My friends don’t keep doing that to God.
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I learned to stay away from my brother in my forties, about 1985, that was always picking fights with me. Thought he could whip me, but he never could. I’ve always hated fighting and didn’t unless I had to. Spent my teens in a mining town and there is always some puck that wants to pick on you, it’s a pecking order thing like in a chicken coop. I have never picked a fight as I recall, it’s stupid. And I haven’t had to fight very many times, many twenty, but push Billy God to that point and he is like a hurricane. My stupid brother never did learn that, would get in my face, was always the first one to hit me, he never was able to hurt me. Until the last time, he was in my face screaming at me and I knew he was going to hit me, something snapped in me (God spirit) and I hit him first, I was going for different results. I beat him up more than I ever had, and kicked him out of Mothers place.
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He took an ax and busted all the windows out of my station wagon. He had to go get stitches, when he got home the police was waiting there to take him to jail. I got a restraining order to keep him away from Mother, she had always been afraid of him. I don’t trust him either, he packs guns sometimes. Our dad thought the solution was to take us outside one time and make us fight, I kicked his butt again. My dad was stupid also. I was a gentle person with high grades in school in my early youth. The biggest mistake I made in my youth was the decision to move back in with that family when I was in about the end of the fifth grade. And stupid enough to stay there until I joined the service. That was really stupid, even my parents beat us up at times. They where Catholics and Republicans, so there you go. I was staying there expecting different results. It hurt some of my development, my grades went down, etc. Can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I dropped out of school in the eleventh grade.
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Got a GED in the service, and went on to learn things in other ways. Took some noncredit college courses. Self taught myself many things. I used to go to automotive training centers, and did learn things there, but at times had to tell the instructors that part of what they were saying was wrong. If they kept insisting they were right I just assumed that I should give up, no point in trying to talk to a monkey that has it’s mind made up because another monkey taught him that. I see automobiles differently, I see them as billions of living cosmic particles that have assembled themselves into the form of an automobile in order to serve me that way so that I can get around. Think about this, an engine has to turn at a high RPM to move a car, lets say 2000 RPM at 55 miles an hour. Do the math for how many times a second a piston has to go up and down, reversing direction instantly. Try slapping your head against the table that many times a second. That is heavy metal in that engine. Lots of things go on in an engine, the only lazy part is, well, there is no lazy part, even the block is busy. It’s all alive and doing what it is supposed to be doing instead of screwing around in a Walmart store.
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In more recent years I can buy a used car, I’ve never bought a new one even though I worked in dealerships and could have gotten a good deal, I’ve bought cheap cars that others though were wore out. Did a few simple things to them, patted them on the dash and said "I love you God", and they take me another hundred thousand miles while treat them gently and mostly ignore their needs because they are here to serve me in that way so I don’t have to put much money in them. I’ve given up on selling them when I move to the next car or truck, their soul dies and they don’t run much longer. The buyer thinks I screwed him. Except for the last one, bought it for 500 bucks and fixed a few things on it, one problem was very complex, something I had never heard of before, won’t try to explain it here, drove it for many miles with little problems. It wasn’t perfect in some ways, I don’t expect perfect in my cars, my ego doesn’t need pretty and perfect. But I did sell it to a man that needed a cheap car, but I gave it a lecture before I gave it to him, and I still see it around at times. Anyway….. Monkeys couldn’t make something that amazing.
Ms. God can make a tree, but………Only God can make a truck.
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One of the most interesting courses I attended in a college was a night program on emotional healing just before I moved here. Damn that man was good, very spiritual. Maybe I’ll tell you more about it some other time.
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I wonder if my brother is still alive, haven’t seen him since the eighties. He was always getting in trouble, being put in jail, kicked off of jobs, dealing with trials, even got shot once. I’ll bet he is a Republican, he sure thinks and acts like a lot of them. I’ll bet the idiot also supports these wars that are taking our soul/spirit away from us. I’m not going to waste time finding out if he is alive, I don’t care, it’s the past, and I don’t like those Roman Republicans that pose as Christians, God is not mucking around in the past anymore, God is moving on.
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That’s okay, I’ve learned that you go learn the real things you need to know outside of the schools because life is the classroom. But you have to want to learn, and self-educating yourself. And I’ve put a lot of time into doing that. Especially during the last fifteen or so years. Then I learned that you have to go to the cosmos to learn what you really need to know, because this planet has a layer of monkey droppings all over it. Books are full of them, especially religious and history books. Billy God has stopped trying to find the answers there or trying to believe in their God or Gods. The cosmic spirit told Billy God to stop mucking around in the past for answers, to listen to the spirit only and keep moving forward. And to keep getting to be a better filter.
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Billy is dying, this journey has been hard on me. I don’t expect to be here much longer. You have much learn before then, and I need to figure out how to present it in better ways, get the monkey crap out of it. You need to become Billy, Spirit, God, so that this keeps going on and evolving properly. God is a scientist, a doctor, an engineer, and is surrounded by what is as much as monkeys that are not evolving properly, the alter ego if you will. More about that later.
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Have you ever been completely surrounded by beautiful light during sex? I have, but only once, and not for long, maybe 20 seconds.. It was a beautiful light blue. Lots to do yet today, have a great day everyone. Love and Peace. Hugs. We love you.
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Keep typing Billy…. Fuck you God, I need some rest….. Fuck rest, keep typing…. No, fuck you, I’m in a human body your bubble headed wife made, you dick head, and I’m clicking on POST. BBC

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nick, the 25th of Dec. is just a day that a lot of so called Chrisians and many others reconize. That is why I said it.

If peace does not start coming to this planet on that day, We will re-open hell. Cut off Bush's dick and put it in his mouth.

I'm going to the hot springs that day, I don't celibrate it the way they do, every birth is my birth. BBC

Anonymous said...

Most days I feel like Charlie Brown, wishing to be more like Snoopy.

Then there are the days I feel like Wiley Coyote.

The journey never ends, my friend. The vehicle wears out, the road becomes hard to find, the weather is rough, the purpose changes, but the journey never ends.

BBC said...

"Then there are the days I feel like Wiley Coyote."

It's just Gods alter ego Nick.

My journey has never ended, not for billions of years. And it will never end, it's big and getting bigger, there is nothing that can destroy it. Hugs.

concerned citizen said...

Well billy, I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you sound a tad crazy to me. I always think that about people that talk to God & God talks back. I mean what makes you different then some crazy Pentecostal preacher? (besides the cussing)