Sunday, October 15, 2006

No Sunday Sermon


It’s Sunday !! And I don’t have a sermon ready for you, what a piece of shit minister I am hey? But I don’t think my readers are stupid, well, except for that one lurking on the right over there in the back. I think my readers gots smarts, that they can figure what they want for their service today. How they will be at one with spirit and share with others.
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Sit there and fart in your chair all day long for all I care, make love to a mate or loved one, sing and dance. Anything you like as long as it’s peaceful and not harming the planet a lot. I was going to hike to the hot springs but it’s raining so I think I will go to the community theatre, British Marriage is playing and it should be a hoot.
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I treated Helen to breakfast at the Cornerhouse Restaurant yesterday morning. Wanted to try my new teeth out for eating real food, ordered a Farmers Omelet, it’s a learning experience and they don’t fit very well yet, but are getting better. They go in better if I put them in hot water first.
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A Nebraska farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door. "Is yer Pa home"? the farmer asked. No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, "Is yer Ma here"? "No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Pa." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here"? "He went with Ma and Pa."
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The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do fer ya"? the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are if you want to borry one. Or maybe, I could take a message fer Pa." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Pa. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant." The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."
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A Lawyer's Ethical Dilemma...
After completing law school and passing the bar, a man decides to open up a private practice with one of his law school buddies as partner. On their first day, they set up shop, and around lunchtime, the man's buddy goes out to get them some sandwiches. Two minutes later, a woman walks in -- their first client! She asks him to draw up some papers and review a couple of very simple contracts. "That'll be $100," the man replies. She complies, and having just gone to the bank, hands over a brand new, crisp $100 bill. The woman decides to leave for the next hour, leaving the man to resume his work. The man, relishing in his first payment as a lawyer, sits back in his brand new, leather chair and holds the brand new, crisp $100 bill up to the light with admiration and pride. He sniffs the bill and starts to rub it a bit when suddenly, he discovers that he was mistakenly given TWO $100 bills!!! And thus, he was confronted with his first ethical dilemma as a lawyer. Should he tell his partner?
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Friday I went over to ‘help’ George install a new kitchen sink, there was a new cook top to install also. I let him open a few of the packages so he would feel useful. LOL. We had to go to Home Depot for a few items, so we also stopped at Applebees for a leisurely lunch. It was enjoyable working with him, he is a nice guy for someone that has more money than sense. So aside from wages from this job I’ve also netted a nice stainless steel kitchen sink with deep basins and a nice faucet fixture, a very good cook top, and a good exterior door and brand new frame, as I just installed the new door on the old frame. He had bought a six inch frame for a four inch wall, that doesn’t work so well.
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More on spray foam insulation in the can. They say you have to use the whole can once you start using it, but that isn’t true. If you have only used half a can, unscrew the tip and trigger and clean it out with carb cleaner, it doesn’t take much. Then spray the inside of outlet on top of the can. You can still use it a year later. I still have a fancy can tap from the days when I did automotive air conditioning, It quickly jabs a hole in the side of the can rather than the top, it’s like a short large hypodermic needle on a pliers type thing that wraps around the can. It’s very handy. I just checked and the foam cans are the same size as the little freon cans. So it will be easy to rig a good way to deliver it to my spray gun. I think I will make an adapter to use it on one of my top cup guns. I think it will also come in handy for the spray cans of paint that can be such a pain to use at times.
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I need a new wallet, I haven’t had a really good wallet since my uncle got out of prison, and then blew his brains out.
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I see that if you freeze a tub of butter you pretty much end up with a tub of shit. I must have known that, and forgot. Oh well, I’ll still use it.
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NEW YORK - The Dow Jones industrial average looked to advance past 12,000 Friday a day after a burst of optimism over corporate earnings pushed the blue chips past 11,900 to a record close….. If you know the history of wall street, you understand its importance at the time. But, now it’s just a greed driven market that takes a lot of people for their money. Hey, don’t get me started
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Every new opinion, at its starting, is precisely in a minority of one.
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A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children…. But, but… Plants have children, in their own strange way, mostly by way of seeds. But sometimes by offshoots, like my Aloe Vera plant. Every living thing (and plants are) is the result of the sexual energies that drive and create this planet.
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NEW YORK (10-10-06) - Overweight middle-aged adults tend to score more poorly on tests of memory,
attention and learning ability than their thinner peers do, researchers reported Monday. The findings, they
say, suggest that a heavier weight in middle age may mean a higher risk of dementia later in life.
Reporting in the journal Neurology, the researchers speculate that higher rates of cardiovascular disease
or diabetes might help explain the link. But it's also possible that substances produced by fat cells, such as the hormone leptin, have direct effects on the brain….. And they don’t live as long either, and cost the health care system a lot of money. And they aren’t much fun to look at.
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The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.
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A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. Or they try to do something and screw it all up.
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The three B's of public speaking are: Be brief, Be interesting, Be gone. The four S's of public speaking are: Stand up, Speak up, Shut up, Sit down…. That is true of public speaking, but here I just don’t shut up. You can read all of it, or stop when you please. :-)
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At the tender age of three, actor Peter Falk had his right eye surgically removed (and replaced with a glass one) when a malignancy was found. His glass eye did not prevent him from participating in team sports like baseball and basketball at school. In fact, despite his disability he excelled at both games and the eye became the source of much amusement. During one Little League game, Falk was called out by the umpire at third base. Falk, sure that he had been safe, angrily pulled his glass eye out of its socket and handed it to the umpire. "Here," he declared. "I think you might need this!"
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Have a safe and peaceful Sunday. Hugs… BBC

9 comments:

concerned citizen said...

The truth is i don't come over here for sermons or to be ministered to. I come over here because you are an amusing distraction.

BBC said...

I try to be L>T.. But sometimes I have to be serious also, get into the serious crap. Have a great day Hon. Hugs.

BBC said...

Thanks for the help Lusty, word verification has now been turned off. I take back every thing I said about you. LOL. Hugs.

Blueberry said...

Hey, I like the Nebraska farmer joke, and I want that cute cowboy in the picture to come and live with me. The boots can stay, it's easier on the furniture. ;-)

NewsBlog 5000 said...

I enjoy a good Sunday morning servicing.

Mary said...

Hello BBC. Great blog. I am quite entertained by it. Thanks for stopping by mine.

BBC said...

Thanks Mary, yours is nice also. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey, great cat picture, you train those cats well. I have a recent cat story I'll have to blog about soon.

We all love the BBC Sunday Rants, umm, I mean Sermons. "Keep on keepin' on", dude.

Nice Teeth.

paris said...

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