This Foundation

This is one of the foundations I contribute to. They help educate women in Mexico. And help them become self-supporting.

http://www.mujeresdemaizof.org/
….
Maybe I’m like my mother in some ways. It’s like my mother always said, about herself. "When I'm good, I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm terrific." :-) …. Geez, for a born again slut, I’m sure not very good at it. LOL
….
A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?" She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be," she says. "Your face looks familiar."
….
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.

Well, the guy has his doubts, but he needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest, roaring and swinging around.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!"
The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut the hell up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"
….
No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare. -James Madison
….
One half of our problems come from wanting our own way. The other half comes from getting it. - Author Unknown
….
The NEW top 10 things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving but aren't...
10. "Talk about a huge breasts!"
9. "It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
8. "Don't play with your meat."
7. "Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
6. "I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
5. "You still have a little bit on your chin."
4. "How long will it take after you stick it in?"
3. "You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
2. "That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
1. "How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
….
If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline. You're all in the same boat on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience. There is no first class on any Lutheran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freewill offering and the plane will not land until the budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you with the safety system aboard this Lutheran Air 599.
….
Okay then, listen up: I'm only gonna say this once. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so will Captain Olson because we fly right around 2,000 feet, I wouldn't bother with those little masks on the rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger things to worry about than that. Just stuff those back up in their little holes. Probably the masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest with you, we're going to have quite a bit of at 2,000 feet. Sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In the event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. [Right, as I understand it, no commercial aircraft has ever survived a water landing.]
….
The use of cell phones on the plane is strictly forbidden, not because they may interfere with the plane's navigational system, which is seat of the pants all the way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in the wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mouth on the side of your head. We're going to start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with the coffee pot up front. Then we'll have the hymn sing; hymnals in the seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours with you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kidding!
….
May we land in Duluth or pretty close. Thank you for flying Lutheran Air.
….
My friend and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?" "Low in calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the answers. She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid thirty-five cents for this candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat. From the back of the room a small voice spoke up: "I'll give you forty cents for it."