Sure, there is plenty I could be heavy about, but we will relax today.
….
A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would not say "I love you," even if explicitly asked to do so. The only exception, she said, was when they were in fact in the act of making love. Then, if asked, he would say the sacred words.
….
I suggested that she should not take too much comfort in the exception. When making love, I explained, men will say anything. "He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's what he thinks you want to hear," I told her. The conversation rattled on from there. A couple of weeks later, she related the following. "We were in bed, making love and I said, 'Tell me you love me'."
….
He said, "I love you." I said, "Tell me you're the Easter Bunny." He stopped for a second, and said, "I'm the Easter Bunny." "So I slapped him." The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.
….
I found a new method of dealing with long, boring phone calls. I shove a dildo up my ass. I call it the Bill O'Reilly method.
….
After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called. "Yeah? Who's winning?"
….
How's this for a bumper sticker: Don't argue with your wife...dicker.
….
A site for the text of old and great songs.
http://www.theguitarguy.com/songs.htm
….
I came upon an abandoned Safeway grocery cart so put it in the back of the pickup and returned it. I’ll bet you have people like that in your town also. The world still has a lot of growing up to do. And I don’t get Helen’s doctor, he won’t authorize a handicapped parking permit for her. Some days she can barely make it into the store to find a chair to sit on while I do her shopping for her. God is going to have to go get on his ass. Lots of people have handicapped permits that don’t even need them, they are just lazy is all. Handicapped in the head.
….
One more day and I get my new teeth. Gonna make a pizza first I think. Love and Peace… Hugs. BBC
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
North Korea is too much worry about nothing. They are a long way from making a real bomb, and getting it delivered anywhere. Bush is just going to cause more problems, the idiot.
Maybe the next preznut will be smooth and be able to talk to them. If anyone can talk to them, they have't evolved very far yet.
But they will never be a super power, and are of little concern at this time. It's terrible how the people there are treated though.
You'll have to post a pic of your new choppers! :)
Post a Comment