One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. And then forgets it as soon as things get better again.….
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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MECCA, Saudi Arabia (AFP) - Around two million Muslims will on Thursday begin the annual hajj pilgrimage to Mecca amid increased safety measures aimed at preventing stampedes which each year claim scores of lives. ….. I wonder where they find places to jack off?
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CRAWFORD, Texas - After weeks of deliberation, President Bush is honing in on a national security team meeting at his Texas ranch that will take him a step closer to deciding a new U.S. policy in Iraq. ….. Geez, I wonder what that little pecker headed monkey will come up with next. But think good thoughts, think of Bush and Cheney sixty-nineing it together. He, he, he.
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Dear diary: While I was out doing the laundry for Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse yesterday I stopped at the hardware store for a stove pipe fitting and they had various double pane windows on sale for five bucks each, so I bought three of them for the camp trailer. I also did a little banking being as it was the whores payday, and I took Helen to the doctors office so she could have her blood pressure checked.
7 comments:
Helen's a lucky lady to have such a good friend to help her out.
Are ya SURE ya don't wanna do her just once to make her decade bright?
*wink*
I liked the jokes. Truth is always more entertaining than fantasy.
The crazy muslims treat their visit to god like the Some people do a soccer game. Lots of yelling and head stomping.
Sewmouse..... Helen pesters me for sex all the time, she really likes sex. But come on, she is eighty-four years old.
While she is my best female friend in the whole world, it isn't going to happen.
Not that it didn't happen a few times years ago when we first met each other. *smirk*
....And now she holds her head and wonders by the banks of her own lagoon.
what has age got to do with anything if it was good once BBC it would be good again sex doesn't have to be about love, it could be about enjoying each other after all remember my friend I wrote about him on my blog.....wink* :)
Paris.... The sex wasn't that good, but her attitude was. :-)
And the friendship is great, so why mess with it.
or is it...
...and now she sucks her thumb and wanders by the banks of her own lagoon?
Yeah, that's the ticket. You should see my new post. That'll give you something to think about.....maybe.
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