Being as

That postcard doesn’t remind me of you and I. Most of you (I also) have had it easy compared to a child in the middle of a war that has lost an arm or leg. Or a child sitting under a tree starving to death. Why is the world still this way? Because YOU allow it to be while you spoil yourself.
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Being as I now have two blogs I will just use this one to entertain the monkeys with humor and some diary entries, I will use the other one for my rants and judgements about humans, err, monkeys. So if you are one of those people with soft egos that don’t like finger pointing don’t go read it. :-)
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A message to the fake bbc troll. .. Once again, who I send pictures of my dick to isn’t any of your fucking business ya warped sick little christian. If any women have that picture they most likely took it off of my blog because I seldom send it to anyone, ya stupid fucking idiot.
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This is old humor, but it’s worth reading again. Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts. This is considered to be a major break through, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
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25 Things You Will Never Hear A Woman Say... (Actually, I have heard women say some of these things, and more.)
1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot.
5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby-sitter.
8. You're my daddy! You're my daddy!
9. The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
10. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!
11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
12. Bar food again!? Kick ass.
13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple
more pitchers.
20. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Chuck's bare ass!
21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
23. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
24. You are so much smarter than my father.
25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.
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The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
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Dear Diary: Was given some good spuds yesterday so I made a crock-pot full of soup. I had forgotten to put a DVD disk back in the container when I returned the container to the library, they sent me a reminder so I found it and returned it. I finely got my new time on my piece of shit cell phone by pushing about eighty buttons on my real phone.
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I talked to a lady yesterday that dislikes modern women as much as I do, but I’ll address that in my other blog. At the library I talked to Margaret for a few minutes, she used to be optimistic about human nature and it’s improving. Now she is about as disappointed as I am. I spotted a book in the new book area, The End Of Iraq, on how America fucked up and started a war that will never end. I won’t be reading it, I already understand that.
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For the most part I really like my new camera, but the menu functions are a pain to stumble through and it’s hard to get the flash to stay off when I want it off. So I put a narrow piece of black tape over the center of the damn thing to diffuse the light and avoid bright spots.
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I’m not finding time to visit all the blogs that I like to visit, or have to look at them quickly and move on. But I only have so much time for such things.
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I’m getting tired of being a doorman for these cats that think they are God, I’m installing a cat door. And before you tell me that they will bring dead critters in here, I know that.
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Losing a few online friends is no big deal, I’m seeking the wisest friends, and they understand me. Have a great day everyone. Hugs… BBC