Time

The trick about life is to make it look easy and fun, like in the graphic.

Time is an interesting and useful tool for the monkeys I guess. But it means nothing to the universe/cosmos.

On his blog Billy P posted about the hormones they are putting in meats these days. Spirit isn’t much worried about it, spirit is full of hornymones and will screw those hormones to death, ha, ha, ha. Spirit is a scientist and will in time figure out what is good and bad when it comes to food science and making improvements on natures foods.

Actually many food sources are being messed with these days, just about everything we eat has been messed with, much of it for some time now. And spirit has no problem with that. What spirit has a problem with is the greedy factor, that produces foods that may not be right but are great for the profit margin.

A really cool home that this country spirit could live in. COOL COUNTRY HOME. Trying to build one on the cheap in this country would be hard though, the official monkeys would put many road blocks in your way and drive the cost way up, if they even let you build such a home. Not that it would stop me from building one, spirit doesn’t get permission from the official monkeys when I do things here.

I gutted this place out and re-did it without permits, permits? I don’t need no fucking permits. And I don’t know any empire building women around here that would live in such a home. The ones available to me all think they deserve so much more, screw them, spirit continues to live alone as he has for ten years now. I wouldn’t stick my dick in any of them, don’t get me started, you know how I get.

A first, it cost over fifty bucks to fill the gas tank yesterday. I’m looking forward to it costing a hundred bucks, for reasons most can’t fathom.

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? At the wake there is one less drunk.

And Scott Adams has become a babbling idiot, with the stupid idea that we are simply part of a cosmic computer program. That little monkey sure has changed since he got married to that empire building monkey, but I guess he likes sticking his dick in her so will kiss her butt so that he can. Never been much of a butt kisser myself. You can have the testosterone but not the Cadillac.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

A bit most days

I get a bit done on the little camper most days. I now have 18 inches of the overhead deck I had cut out replaced, and new front framing back in. Yesterday I filled some areas with spray foam insulation. Next I will install some foam panel insulation and the paneling.

It may seem like a shame to use a nice piece of oak that is only surface weathered and could be made pretty again in such a place but it’s strong and was free and looking for a place to serve again instead of going to a landfill or being used for firewood. And it was free!! It’s at a 15 degree angle so the bottom framing also had to be cut at a 15 degree angle. And the uprights cut to match it.

Anyway, it’s coming along and will be ready for trips to the beaches before to long. That is where spirit finds a beautiful world, at the beaches and in the mountains. All I see in town is a bunch of monkeys messing around.

Shakespearian Insult Kit

Next time that you are at a loss for a good insult, use this handy table to construct a Shakespearean insult. Combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with the word "Thou":

| artless | base-court | apple-john |
| bawdy | bat-fowling | baggage |
| beslubbering | beef-witted | barnacle |
| bootless | beetle-headed | bladder |
| churlish | boil-brained | boar-pig |
| cockered | clapper-clawed | bugbear |
| clouted | clay-brained | bum-bailey |
| craven | common-kissing | canker-blossom |
| currish | crook-pated | clack-dish |
| dankish | dismal-dreaming| clotpole |
| dissembling | dizzy-eyed | coxcomb |
| droning | doghearted | codpiece |
| errant | dread-bolted | death-token |
| fawning | earth-vexing | dewberry |
| fobbing | elf-skinned | flap-dragon |
| froward | fat-kidneyed | flax-wench |
| frothy | fen-sucked | flirt-gill |
| gleeking | flap-mouthed | foot-licker |
| goatish | fly-bitten | fustilarian |
| gorbellied | folly-fallen | giglet |
| impertinent | fool-born | gudgeon |
| infectious | full-gorged | haggard |
| jarring | guts-griping | harpy |
| loggerheaded | half-faced | hedge-pig |
| lumpish | hasty-witted | horn-beast |
| mammering | hedge-born | hugger-mugger |
| mangled | hell-hated | joithead |
| mewling | idle-headed | lewdster |
| paunchy | ill-breeding | lout |
| pribbling | ill-nurtured | maggot-pie |
| puking | knotty-pated | malt-worm |
| puny | milk-livered | mammet |
| qualling | motley-minded | measle |
| rank | onion-eyed | minnow |
| reeky | plume-plucked | miscreant |
| roguish | pottle-deep | moldwarp |
| ruttish | pox-marked | mumble-news |
| saucy | reeling-ripe | nut-hook |
| spleeny | rough-hewn | pigeon-egg |
| spongy | rude-growing | pignut |
| surly | rump-fed | puttock |
| tottering | shard-borne | pumpion |
| unmuzzled | sheep-biting | ratsbane |
| vain | spur-galled | scut |
| venomed | swag-bellied | skainsmate |
| villainous | tardy-gaited | strumpet |
| warped | tickle-brained | varlet |
| wayward | toad-spotted | vassal |
| weedy | unchin-snouted | whey-face |
| yeasty | weather-bitten | wagtail |

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs... BBC

The cupcake

The lovely DIANA sent me a card with a cupcake on the face of it. No, she didn’t email it, she personally made a card just for me and sent it to me in a snail mail. Remember snail mail? And those warm fuzzy things you used to get in them that you could touch and enjoy? The internet is wonderful, but for warm and fuzzy you can’t beat getting something that you can feel with your fingers.

I eagerly opened the card hoping that she had enclosed a picture of her ‘cupcakes’, but no such luck. *sighs* I’m teasing of course, I know little about her and have no more than a passing interest in her. Hell, who am I kidding, spirit loves looking at cupcakes, I have lots of pictures of cupcakes on my computer, I’ve posted some of them on my blogs. Artful ones, I don’t do hard porn and vaginas, just art. Some would call boobs porn but I don’t.

It really is a lovely card. She has very nice penmanship. My penmanship looks like a monkey wrote it with his tail, or his dick. And she had very nice things to say about me, I guess she can see under the grumpy exterior. The card now presides on my bulletin board.

I wasn’t going to do a tax return this year, but the government wants to give me 300 bucks for fifteen minutes of work to fill out the form. A stimulus payment they call it, hoping that we will use the money to kick start the economy. But I’ll use it to pay off the rest of my new computer, fuck the government and the rich.

A DRY TOWN ….. In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn't a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern. Liking a "dry" town, the local church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. The businessman was polite when congregants came to protest, but work continued on the tavern.

But the night before the grand opening, a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their piousness after that -- until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. At the first hearing, the judge held up the paperwork and looked at the lawyers on both sides of the lawsuit. "I don't know how I'm going to decide this," the judge said, "but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't."

THE RIGHT TO DIE

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

A cool tool !!

I have two saber saws (jigsaws), and they are okay, but I recently bought this really cool air powered saw, they are used a lot in body shops I guess. This saw has a lot shorter and faster stroke than the other kind, it’s just a busy happy short stroking fucker. Um, my mind is wandering again.

It has an adjustable guide and can be removed for full depth (get your mind back in place). It’s been handy on the camper project where I removed framing and had to cut it out and leave the aluminum skin intact. It’s the handiest little saber type saw I’ve ever owned and I like the way it cuts smoother than others with longer strokes (not that long strokes are bad), every craftsman should have one.

With the right attachment this handy little busy bee would be great for, um, never mind.

Laura says that I have the blood pressure and pulse of a twenty-year-old, that’s what they all say when I get checked. That’s not bad for 64 years of often grueling work hours and hard work. Not to mention smoking and drinking through all of it. And that stupid little dick still thinks it’s 20 also. It’s a good thing I have a gentle nature or they would have to lock me up in a safe place. Yes, I bitch and rant a lot, but it’s just a way to let off steam, it beats physical aggression.

As for getting my teeth cleaned and checked, it was very trying, even with two shots, my teeth are very sensitive for some unknown reason. And that fancy sonic vibrating cleaning pik or whatever it is, fuck that thing, it sends me right through the roof. But the women there seem to love me, they like my twisted sense of humor and telling them that it’s okay to hurt me because it’s the only chance they will get. I allow them to hurt my teeth, but not my heart. Half way through the session she was calling me honey. Huh? I like her but I didn’t feel the need to put my hand on her butt.

While at the dentist office I read an article about how they are getting so good at predicting the weather, and would be getting even better at it. Do you think they are? The reports never fit here, BTW, the article was dated 1973. Man is screwing up this planet too much to even get close to predicting the weather. A butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect this planet, just think what all those jet planes up there are doing to it. I know, you don’t care if you want to go somewhere.

You are a fascist, oh yes you are, think about it. Think it out and you will see that you are.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Strange requests

Get it? Ha, ha, ha.

A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on" was hyphenated. The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing home about!" The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad about the project we worked so 'hard on'."

They had a computer recycling drive here Saturday so I recycled some of my old computers. I still had the first 286 I bought. But it was expensive, they need to make it more affordable to recycle computers in this country.

The monkey that was supposed to tow the trailer from here for the Lisa monkey wasn’t getting around to doing it but she did call me. So yesterday I pulled it to a tire stores lot, with their permission. She’ll have it towed from there, or not. If they get tired of it being on their lot they can call me and I will bring it back over here and use it for storage.

Ron, did spirit give you permission to insult his readers? Oh – Okay, carry on then.

A wife one evening drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple, how devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I don't know her well enough."

You old timers, do you remember the old Johnny Fuckerfaster joke?

The administration of this particular elementary school decided to start a more inclusive policy on which words were "bad" words. Among those initiated to the category was "suck" (when not referring to the principle of suction).

One day a child came up to the teacher to inform her that one of the other students had said a bad word. "What was the bad word he said?" asked the teacher. "I can't say it." "It's ok to tell me, you won't get in trouble for it." "No, it's too bad, I don't want to say it."

"Well I have to know what he said in order to punish him. Can you tell me what it is without saying it?" "Well... it rhymes with 'fuck'."

GRANTHAM, Pa. - Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton said Sunday that the potential for life begins at conception as she and presidential rival Sen. Barack Obama answered questions about faith and religion in both their personal lives and the public discourse. In a forum devoted to an issue rare on the campaign trail, the two White House hopefuls talked about the presence of God in their lives and how often they read the Bible as well as divisive issues such as abortion, abstinence and human rights within the context of faith.

Spirit is so sick and tired of hearing about this omnipotent biblical god. Now I don’t even want to vote for or support Obama. This country is so fucked, but no one ever listens to me.

I have a dental appointment this morning, Laura is going to clean my six teeth. ROFLMAO.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Celebrating our weirdness

I can turn your crank – Baby

I’m a heavy-duty model with a 200 AMP boost, I can get those juices flowing.

Let’s see, red is positive and black is negative, got it. (clamp) (clamp) *CLICK*

Ah yeah, you’re sizzling now baby. Here I’ll just stick this rod in you to check your electrolyte levels.

ooooooOh, baby you’re charged up now, that feels gooood. Get it up, get it in, get it on but don’t mess up her hair dooooo.

I can charm the pants off of a Christian girl, just can’t have sex with her, tried that a few years back with a spoiled self centered Catholic brat.

Hum, it’s getting weird around here, this is a goofy post. Ha, ha, ha. Well, must celebrate our weirdness. Happy Naked Pagan Dancing and all that.

Camper update: Been working on it some.

I went to Beer Church for a bit yesterday – asked Rod if Char putting a dent in his car got him any extra nooky – curious minds like to know – then everyone started talking about sex and it got pretty interesting for a while.

Wonder what it’s like where I live? Check out some of our web cams. And there are also picture links on that site, the link to the panorama views is pretty interesting. WEB CAMS

Oh, I actually have a 200 amp battery charger much like the one in the picture, kept it when I sold my parts house.

I put another post on my other blog, if you want to stay light today don’t go there. My other blog

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

PRICELESS !!!

I like to officiate at weddings. But things can go wrong during the dove release.
Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!


The picture was not taken at any wedding I’ve officiated at, I should be so lucky, a lady sent it to me in an email. My favorite weddings are the ones I do outside, in nature, I haven’t done a nude one, yet.

I’ve been too busy recently to visit a lot of blogs other than hit and miss, someone keeps distracting me, I apologize if I haven’t been by to irritate you. LOL

It was a decent day yesterday – over 60 degrees for a while - lots of sun - I was outside sitting on the porch – on my porta-pottie taking a crap - and was reminded of the time I looked out the window and saw my young daughter squatting in the front yard taking a leak – Because “It’s boring in the bathroom.” I wonder where she got that from. ;-)

Knock - Knock
(Opens door)
Official: Mr. Cook, you can’t have a sheep here.
Mr. Cook: Last summer you told me I have to keep my grass mowed so that it meets your expectations of Martha Stewart pretty.
Official: That doesn’t mean that you can mow it with a sheep.
Mr. Cook: Fuck you, that’s my fucking lawnmower, you leave my girlfriend alone (Montana joke). Oh, and fuck Martha Stewart, she has fucked up enough women on this planet. She is just a stupid capitalistic man with a pussy.
*Slams door shut*

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Cheer up guys

If you are having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have a mate, remember: Yours could look like a dick with buckteeth, that is a Naked Mole-Rat from Africa.

I wasn’t looking to own cats, a stray had them in my yard, she got hurt just about the time they were old enough to be weaned, she went to the vet and never returned so I became their mother. I provide a home for them, other than that I don’t pay a lot of attention to them. Two are pretty friendly and demand some attention, the other two think I’m just here to feed them and won’t have anything to do with me.

Some quotes credited to George Bernard Shaw
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

A veteran journalist has never had time to think twice before he writes.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. [Hell, anywhere]

Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. (Ditto with women)

Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid.

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.

Independence? That's middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Pussy – Pussy everywhere

We don’t have high journalistic standards here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse. My words just leap out naked.

Yesterday a lady told me that I’m weird, I’m taking that as a compliment. So was Einstein, Richard P. Feynman, Di Vinci, people like that. I just haven’t achieved my fame, yet.

I was in the lumber yard to pay my bill yesterday and Bill Sommers came over to talk to me for a bit. I like to leave snarky comments on his blog. LOL

It’s guys like me that make things like this. ELECTRIC CAR ON A BEER BUDGET

There is getting to be too much pussy around here. I took Helen to the store yesterday for her monthly supply of cat food, she has two cats and loves cats, too much. She spends over fifty bucks a month on cat food. She spoils her cats, my cats, and all the strays that come over here and get in fights with our cats.

I love cats, but damn it, I don’t want twenty of them hanging out around here. If it has wheels or it is a pussy it’s going to give you problems, but what can you do but love them? Damn it, spread the love around, anyone want a stray pussy? A gray cat started showing up here, I wonder if it is a male, I make sure any pussies around here are fixed so it won’t do him any good, and this old post about me trapping a tom cat to get him fixed is sort of amusing. I don’t know who owns him, and I didn’t get permission to get him fixed. Permission? I don’t need no fucking permission, that pussy was in my space, if you don’t want me fucking with your pussy keep it home. LOL
PISSED OFF PUSSY

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Turtles can breathe through their rear end. I know a few assholes that talk through theirs. I can exhale through mine.

MY THOUGHTS ON SOME NEWS
Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Not interested

The pussy’s here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse are not interested in cute little fluff butts other than when they are feeling playful and want a swat toy. They don’t think there is enough meat on those little ankle biters to make a decent shish kebab and the last thing they need is a big hairball.

PUSSY’S YAWN AND GO BACK TO SLEEP

Remember now, ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.

I have a bag of wood pellets here that were given to me so I did an experiment yesterday. I think I can come up with a simple way to burn pellets, but not now, I have other projects going now.

Out of chaos shall come the New World Order. -- George Herbert Walker Bush

And it’s not going to be anything like that monkey thinks it will be. Doesn’t matter, he won’t be here to see it.

WASHINGTON - The presidential campaign of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton said Tuesday that her husband, the former president, supports a free trade agreement with Colombia that she strenuously opposes.

Okay, her screwed up christian background is starting to creep in. Never mind, my thoughts on this would be over most heads.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

New framing

Let’s just stick to human monkey stuff today. Debra Kay, the reason I’m interested in heating with wood pellets is because if burned properly they are energy efficient and less polluting than burning firewood. And the price is right in this area. But I don’t want to spend well over a thousand dollars for a high tech stove to burn them in. It requires electricity to run them and they are complex with electronic control boards and such and I like simple things that work well.

I have owned one pellet stove, but it was pretty much junk so I didn’t use it long. The factory gave me a new ‘improved’ model but I wasn’t impressed with it either. And my place is small, the store bought stoves would be overkill. I’ve been doing some research and may try some things on my own, I have all the tools and equipment to do that with.

As for just building a fire, I do that some times. But it bothers me at times that I’m adding to the pollution.

Anyway, about the pictures. I mentioned recently that I had bought a combination brad nailer and staple gun. A cheap one, just 20 bucks, but it will drive a 2 inch brad and a 1 ½ inch staple, this is very handy for some of my building and restoration projects.

I’m currently putting new framing in the overhang of the camper, the berth area. Using thin galvanized mental plates (on both sides), the staple gun allows me to create nice strong joints without dowels or complex joints. Being a cheap gun it wasn’t working quite right but I tore it apart four or five times until I got it working to my standards.

I don’t often ask other monkeys to help when working on projects, the other monkeys are busy doing other monkey stuff and many things I do could use an extra hand or two, like when I was working on getting the separated skin on the camper back together. Over the years I’ve learned a lot about getting things done alone. I needed to push the front back some to get it to reach the other skin, to get and hold it in the proper place while I worked to getting the two pieces mated back together. Mated, my mind just wandered, ha, ha, ha.

I also recently bought some clamps that not only clamp but can be converted to spread things, like the legs of virgins, ha, ha, ha. That isn’t a pretty picture and is cluttered, like my mind, but it does illustrate my solution. I backed my pickup toward the front of the camper and used a couple of pieces of 2X4’s set behind the hitch ball so I had a support to push from. Then I used a piece of ¾ inch PVC pipe over the spreader bar to push against a short 2X4 on the face of the overhang.

Bored yet? There was also a vertical 2X4 (I added a yellow line to it to help you identify it) going to the ground that was holding a horizontal board (blue) to keep the lower sheet in place. This is better than getting another monkey to help because they will stay in place for as long as I need them to without complaining like monkeys do, in this case about an hour while I got the metal straightened and folded back over.

I’ve worked with some monkeys that were good craftsman and understood what I was doing and didn’t question me and just helped with no problems, but I’ve worked with plenty that I wished were somewhere else. I started building a garage for a man a few years ago, he had hired me and a lady monkey to build it. She decided that she was the project boss, I didn’t care, she could be the boss if she wanted to.

But I couldn’t work with her, she hadn’t been a carpenter for long and her ways were different than mine, and she wasn’t worth a damn at communicating to me what she was expecting me to do. The cement floor and foundation was already there, I had done it a few weeks before we started the building. I worked with her about three days and we had a large part of the framing done and the side panels on when I got tired of her being short with me so I told her too take a flying fuck and went home.

She complained to the man about me and tried to make it sound like I was an idiot but I had completed many projects for him over a number of years so he knew it wasn’t me.

The man hired another helper for her and she was putting roof truss’s up and doing it wrong when the owner pointed it out. She got in a pissing contest with him and got her ass fired. He called me and I went back and finished the job. Just one of my many experiences on this silly planet.

Ever been fired from a job? I have a few times, when I couldn’t get the boss properly trained. LOL No big deal, I just went on to other things, there are always other things to do that suits me. I don’t understand people that stay at jobs they are not happy with. It’s never bothered me to leave a job I was not enjoying, but I’m a free spirit and need no one else’s so called job or security.

Yesterday I went into the computer shop I bought my new computer from. The same shop that I also signed up for my high speed Internet ISP through. I was just looking for a little help getting the new cable modem that I got off of Yahoo Freecycle working, I’m sure that I have to give the computer a little information about it. Type in some code or address or something.

I got stuck talking to a monkey that I’ve talked to a few other times because the monkey I wanted to talk to was on the phone. I tell him that I have another brand of cable modem that I want to use so I can return the one I’m paying rent for to Wavecable but it won’t work. He starts talking down to me, told me that I didn’t have a cable modem. Hey, I’m not a fucking computer geek, I’m willing to admit that I don’t know as much about them as I once did because I got tired of trying to keep up with it all.

BUT I FUCKING KNOW WHAT A CABLE MODEM IS !!! I just wanted some help getting it working. He pitched some other shit on me and I said right in front of the other customers there, “I don’t like talking to you, I like talking to that guy because he is always more helpful than you are.” I figured that all the monkeys there needed to hear that. And then I walked out of the fucking store, fuck him, I’ll figure out to get it working, that is what I have a brain for. I can rebuild an automatic transmission, I’ve rebuilt hundreds of them, I can figure out how to get a fucking cable modem working, it’s just easier if you have some helpful advice.

I posted something interesting on my other blog this morning. FRANKENKINDER

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Spring has sprung & it’s mating season

Where am I?

This zoo is ran by a bunch of monkeys and it’s mating season. Okay, so moose don’t mate in the spring but apparently it’s okay for them to screw statues?

Don’t pay any attention to spirit, been thinking about, sex. It’s not as if I’m not thinking about it all the time anyway. The spirits are always horney, it’s just all the monkey business that screws everything up.

After looking at the news I guess I have nothing else to say today, this world is too depressing.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Riding along in our monkeymobile

Spirit likes to change songs, mess with others ‘intellectual property, copyrights’. If they don’t like it they can sue spirit. Good luck with that, they won’t stop him from doing it. Spirit is just improving their work. It’s called artistic license or some other monkey mumble jumble like that.

Riding along in our monkeymobile
My baby beside me at the wheel
Easing along on a country road
With no particular place to go

My arm slung around her neck
My hand in her bra caressing her tit
Her hand in my lap caressing my dick
Looking for a place to park in the sticks

Easing along in our monkeymoblie
Enjoying the sun on the hills
Seeking a place to get our thrills
Somewhere out there in the hills

(Contributed by Debra Kay)
Ring ring goes the bell
Cop car comes crashing through the dell
Just when things were getting good
Hell there goes the neighborhood

Ah, the good old days before everything got so screwed up and women got so hard to get along with. Feel free to use your artistic license and add another verse.

Another great song.
You don’t know what you do to me
I never knew how much I missed until I kissed you
I never knew how much I missed until I sexed you

The Lisa monkey called yesterday, she is doing well in treatment it seems, and is coming over with a friend she works for at times so he can pull the 22 foot camp trailer to his place. It works for me, she can fill it full of the crap she collects and then wander off and leave him stuck with all of it. Well, that is her history, I don’t expect it to change.

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) - Strong thunderstorms toppled trees, knocked out power and damaged homes Friday across the South, while flooding in Kentucky forced evacuations and left a 2-year-old girl dead.

Rather than calling it global warming I think it should be called man made global chaos. Expect it to get worse.

WASHINGTON - It's no longer a question of recession or not. Now it's how deep and how long. Workers' pink slips stacked ever higher in March as jittery employers slashed 80,000 jobs, the most in five years, and the national unemployment rate climbed to 5.1 percent. Job losses are nearing the staggering level of a quarter-million this year in just three months.

Whatever, I’ve been preparing for it for some time, it won’t have much of an effect on me.

James W dropped by yesterday, was having his truck serviced near by so walked over for a chat. James is a very interesting man, big man, well traveled and experienced author that just never shuts up and is most interesting to talk to. We don’t see each other often but I’ve known him for years, gave him some private computer lessons not long after moving here. His wife died recently, it was nice chatting with him.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs……. BBC

More items of interest

Raquel Welch was one hot momma in her time. Spirit wasn’t aware that she had sang with Tom Jones though. TUTTI FRUTTI Not the best performance of this song but definitely entertaining.

IT’S NOT FUN GETTING HIT IN THE NUTS

I’ve never been big on them, actually I could care less, but to each his/her own I guess. HOW ABOUT A BLOW JOB?

A rant from TZ
Work is starting to piss me off. People are actually expecting me to do stuff. All day long it's, "TZ, can you help me with this?" TZ, did you finish that?" Yo, asswipe, the only thing I 'Finnished' was that broad on the back side of mountain in Sweden when I was skiing there.

"TZ, this is late." "TZ, this is due" "TZ, TZ, TZ!"

Hey, leave me alone, okay? If after all these years you need me to start working now, then this company is fucked. If there is so much to do then let's hire another monkey and get him to do it. It's good for his family, it's good for the economy, hell, I bet it's even good for the war on terror. So hire someone else
to do this shit and help support the troops... or bring them home... I don't give a fuck, just leave me the hell alone.

Spirit is all for the Muslims killing all the Christians, and the sooner the better. On the flip flop spirit is all for the Christians killing all the Muslims, and the sooner the better. Spirit just wishes that those stupid motherfuckers would take their stupid fucking fighting to a deserted island and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. Those stupid monkeys. Hey, don’t get me started, you know how I get.

Jesus kissed Mary’s tits and screwed her brains out, get the hell over it. At least they had a lot more fun than you idiots are having. They had more brains back then it seems. They worked just enough to get by, and partied and honored nature the rest of the time, in their own ways of the day. And the women wasn’t so hard to get along with, I’m surrounded by members of THE INSANE CHICKS SOCIETY now, we just drive each other nuts but I’ve gotten wise and know that I want nothing to do with them and their damn empire building. I have chicken, I go to the beach, screw them, they can go to a fancy place and pay for their own fancy meals. I have peace, they have noise, spirit is not impressed.

Bernie was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Bernie boy decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Bernie said, "May I speak with the Vice President of peas, please?" The clerk replied, "Canned or frozen?"

"I once made love to a female clown. It was weird because she twisted my penis into a poodle." -- Dan Whitney

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Hillary Clinton and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, have made $109 million since leaving the White House, including $51 million in speech income for Bill Clinton, according to eight years of tax records released on Friday.

$109 million in eight years. How much have you made during the last eight years? Do you see anything wrong with this picture? Spirit does. On the other hand, with money like that Bill can buy a lot of a lot of blow jobs because his wife is so busy being important and not servicing his needs. Go get some more blow jobs Bill, or just some great sex, it would be fun to catch you at it again, the rest of us monkeys love that kind of entertainment. Not that I cared what you was doing in the first place, it was just your Christian friends that did. It’s interesting that they slight you for doing the same things they do. Spirit is amused.

Being as it rained so much yesterday spirit polished his carrot inside. Well hey, there isn’t a female here to polish it, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Spirit is not going without his sex and he isn’t in to raping women for it. Or begging for it.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

TRY JESUS

Now if I was a woman and saw that bumper sticker on a car I would think, “Yeah, why not try Jesus? I’ll bet he is a real stud.”

As schools face cuts, top bosses enjoy perks
It’s headlines like this that are always keeping spirit pissed off.

It’s irritating that some videos make you watch a commercial first, but what the hell. SLEEPING BEAUTY'S

YOU'RE ALL I NEED TO GET BY

The picture is what the overhead, the bed area of the little pickup camper looks like now. I had to remove 18 inches of the deck because it was rotten, and a lot of the framing. And the outside skin was separated, I have the skin back together now and will now start installing new framing and decking. I’ve also removed the rest of the dumb ass rain gutter and installed pop rivets in the screw holes. That’s just a 2X4 you see in the window, helping hold down a plastic tarp I have over the camper.

It’s a Perris Valley camper, made in Mount Angel, Oregon in 1975. It was as well constructed as any campers made back then but I hope those little monkeys are better camper builders now.

Spirit maintains that the only original art is created by nature. And that is where the monkey artists get their ideas, were it not for nature everything would look like a bowl of gray soup and there would be none of the monkeys art that reflects nature or anything else. You little monkeys need to get over yourselves. I’m surrounded by art, free art. I get up everyday and look out at the mountains in the spiritual park I live next to. Do I need it on my wall? No. I need a little spiritual monkey to take up there and screw. Ah screw it, never mind.

I hauled Helen’s little monkey butt into town in the Pissant Express monkeymobile yesterday morning so she could do her monthly banking and we had breakfast at the Cornerhouse. It was a pretty nice day, for a change of pace I polished my carrot outside in nature.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs….. BBC

New bridges

They are building two new bridges in town for the monkeys to wreck their little monkey cars on while fucking with their little monkey cell phones. The other day they transported a number of 135 to 155 foot beams through town, I live just two blocks off the main road so I went over and got a picture of the last one coming in. I’m guessing that it was a pretty tight fit on some of the turns they had to make. Those loads are over twice the length of the average truck and trailer.

This little monkey has never pulled a load that long. The longest beams I hauled in my trucking days was 65 feet. I emailed that picture to some folks and George S replied with, “Wow! Thanks! I suppose they didn't bring them in by barge because we didn't have a local crane big enough to off-load them.”

I shot back with, “I'm guessing that the same loader that launches the Westport pecker extensions could handle them. I don't recall where they came from, was made, but I suppose once they got them on trucks they just decided to come all the way with them. They must be pretty heavy judging by all the wheels, and the speed that truck came up the hill by Traylor's where I took the picture.”

Actually, they needed rear steering units, so I suppose they trucked them so that they would be here rather than barging them.

New readers will want to know what a Westport pecker extension is I suppose. It’s a 154 foot yacht that is built here. You can get on the list if you have 35 to 40 million bucks burning a hole in your pocket because you don't pay your employees well or provide health insurance for them. Or whatever it is that you do to screw others out of that much money.

All religions are external, spirit is internal.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs. … BBC

THELMA !!!

WANNA GO FOR A JOY RIDE???

1964 Buick Wildcat Convertible’s were cool cars, my brother had a red one. They had a 401, V8 engine, his had the optional 424 engine, four barrel carb, dual exhaust and gears that could really haul ass. 1964 was the only year for Sunburst Yellow, only 2 left in existence.

I only rode in my brothers Buick a few times, that fucking little un-evolved monkey was always getting his stupid little monkey ass in trouble. The last time was when we were bar hopping in Bellingham (back in the 60’s) and he picked a fight with another monkey on the street that was minding his own monkey business. They tossed his stupid little monkey ass in jail. Just as the monkey cops where putting him in the cop car he tossed me the keys to the Buick. That is the only time I ever drove it.

I drove it to his home and told his wife he was in jail and she used his coin collection to bail his stupid ass out. I took my wife and kids home and never saw him for about a year after that. Unfortunately I saw him to many times after that, until I refused to see the fucking idiot monkey anymore.

OLD WILDCAT COMMERICAL

It’s a wonder this retired retarded monkey gets much done some days. What with coming inside all the time to check the computer and whacking off and wandering around wondering what the monkey fuck I was doing in the first place. But it was nice yesterday and there was a lot of sun and I got some work done on the camper project, will post about that later.

Catching up on humor
While driving through a seedy area of San Diego, I noticed that sandwiched between a strip bar and a liquor store sat a storefront with all the windows suspiciously blacked out. Over the door was a sign that proudly declared, "Welcome to Kinko's. We have nothing to do with office supplies."

I drink in moderation. ‘Moderation' is an imaginary place that exists wherever I am.

Want to see what some of the local monkeys look like? LOCAL MONKEYS

Clinton compares herself to 'Rocky'
I compare her to Martha Stewart, a capitalist man with a vagina.

Woozie I’m going to spank your little motherfucking ass if you do that to us again, we shouldn’t have to reboot our computers because you like to fuck around, so stop being a fucking idiot you little monkey. Fuck with your enemies, not with your friends. Stupid little motherfucking monkey. Just saying.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Going back together

"Gingko Viagra," Ever hear of that, its for old guys, its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.

Like I said, I’ve been getting a little bit done to the little pickup camper. I’ve repaired the roof beams by sistering (old wooden boat days term) them with new pieces. Actually used wood because I recycle and reuse all I can. The picture isn’t very clear or helpful but after removing the rotten wood running the roof line I installed more, except for right at the top where there is a roll of staples, and rivets that I installed after removing the dumb ass rain gutter.

I often make my own glue and plastic wood filler but right now I’m just using Fix-It-All to fill in that gap because I have some here left over from a job when I was fixing someone’s home. I’ve install foam insulation where I removed the fiber insulation. Next I’ll install a heavy plastic vapor barrier.

To see how I make my own great glue and plastic wood look at this old postGlue and plastic wood

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.--John Adams

Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself. There was never a democracy that did not commit suicide. --John Adams

"Take it from me, wrinkle cream doesn't work. I've been using it for two years and my balls still look like raisins." --Harland Williams

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs….. BBC

Where to start

I don’t know, is she looking at his groin?

Two nuns are in a store grocery shopping and one grabs a six pack of beer. As they are checking out their items the clerk gives her a questioning look. She says, “I wash my hair with it.” The clerk hands her a hand full of pretzel sticks and she asks, “What are these for?” The clerk replies, “Hair curlers.” Get it? Ha, ha, ha.

Dan’l emailed me an interesting link yesterday so I’ll post it here. The monkeys can be very entertaining and amusing at times. Um, you ladies may not find it interesting seeing what some of your sisters do, this link is for the men. MONKEYS FIGHTING

Ever watched Married with Children? MARRIED WITH CHILDREN

In Zimbabwe, everyone's a millionaire, and they're still poor, very poor. I see that possibility happening to America, even England. Well, it’s not like we didn’t ask for it.

I’m getting Rick’s lawnmower fixed up pretty good, it’ll do a wheelie. *smirks* Fuck, sometimes I’m just as bad as the rest of the monkeys. Rick wanted me to put a bumper on it, but I just fixed the brake.

KAREN did a cute post for me yesterday, if you haven’t seen it yet get your monkey butt over and have a look. Like many others she doesn’t show all she is on her blogs, but she’s part Thelma and Louise on ‘Fried Green Tomato’s’. Ha, ha, ha.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC

Stupid monkeys [Updated]

That cartoon is pretty much what the religious nuts god is like, all powerful my butt.

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out. 'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.

We got some sun here yesterday, so I let the little guy out so he could soak up some vitamin D for a while, all 2 ½ inches of him. It’s Sunday here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse, lets look at some news.

WESTON, Wis. - Police are investigating an 11-year-old girl's death from an undiagnosed, treatable form of diabetes after her parents chose to pray for her rather than take her to a doctor.

I can see why a religious crackpot wouldn’t take her child to a monkey doctor, but depend on her god instead. But I guess her God was off fucking around somewhere else, ever notice that he does that a lot, like in the posted comic?

LOS ANGELES - A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.

It appears that nipple rings can be difficult and painful to remove. Being always curious spirit is wondering if this woman has a mate, how do you kiss a nipple with a bar or ring through it? Wouldn’t that be irritating to the nipple? Being a long time nipple kisser I don’t get that. I’ll bet that little monkey isn’t getting any. They should have let her on the plane without having to remove them though.

'Earth Hour' to plunge millions into darkness…. SYDNEY (AFP) - Twenty-six major cities around the world are expected to turn off the lights on major landmarks, plunging millions of people into darkness to raise awareness about global warming, organizers said.

One crummy hour, big deal, that isn’t going to save the planet. So they turn off a bunch of lights for a bit to show their concern for the planet and then they build big polluting bonfires, has spirit ever mentioned that I’m surrounded by fuckin’ idiots? Spirit needs a frigging drink.

NEW YORK - U.S. stocks moved toward a higher open Friday as investors awaited a reading on February personal incomes and spending — figures that could reveal whether consumers are pulling back because of concerns about the economy.

TOKYO - Japan's inflation rate climbed at its fastest rate in a decade in February and the jobless rate worsened to 3.9 percent under data released Friday, raising concerns about the health of the world's second-largest economy.

Stock markets are just greed, plain old greed, and it grows until it tumbles and takes everyone down with it. It’s just a godfuckingdamnit big clusterfuck taking all of us down with it. Don’t get spirit started, you know how I get.

I have Rick’s riding lawnmower here to check out and service, in exchange for keeping it repaired I use it also. I hate mowing grass, I don’t have much, but Helen’s yard has a lot, but others think I should. But I don't water it or put fertilizer on it so I don’t have to mow it as often as others mow their lawns that they think are showpieces. Fuck their planet destroying lawns, and don’t get spirit started about golf courses, you know how I get.

When I went to get my free cable modem yesterday and was returning home – on a four lane highway – I was in the left lane – doing the speed limit – passing slower cars on the right when the monkey on my right decided to move into my lane – I had to hit my brakes and veer into the oncoming traffic lane to keep that monkey from hitting me. Stupid fucking monkeys – don’t pay enough attention to what they are doing – have no respect for others. In this state a lot of them don’t even have insurance.

Jimmy….. I did go to beer church for a bit yesterday, it was quite and sort of boring so I just had two beers and chatted with a few folks for a bit, ragged on Ralph for taking up two parking spots, then went to Rick’s shop because it’s more interesting there.

Cathy…. We don’t proof read spelling and grammar here, don’t worry about it, the English language is a piece of crap that the wordsmith monkeys keep screwing with anyway.

If a blog read like a book, and there was a lot of muttering and clutter removed from this one it would make a lot more sense. I should just write a book, but I won’t, the fucking monkeys wouldn’t understand it anyway.

Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC