I like to officiate at weddings. But things can go wrong during the dove release. Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!
The picture was not taken at any wedding I’ve officiated at, I should be so lucky, a lady sent it to me in an email. My favorite weddings are the ones I do outside, in nature, I haven’t done a nude one, yet.
I’ve been too busy recently to visit a lot of blogs other than hit and miss, someone keeps distracting me, I apologize if I haven’t been by to irritate you. LOL
It was a decent day yesterday – over 60 degrees for a while - lots of sun - I was outside sitting on the porch – on my porta-pottie taking a crap - and was reminded of the time I looked out the window and saw my young daughter squatting in the front yard taking a leak – Because “It’s boring in the bathroom.” I wonder where she got that from. ;-)
Knock - Knock
(Opens door)
Official: Mr. Cook, you can’t have a sheep here.
Mr. Cook: Last summer you told me I have to keep my grass mowed so that it meets your expectations of Martha Stewart pretty.
Official: That doesn’t mean that you can mow it with a sheep.
Mr. Cook: Fuck you, that’s my fucking lawnmower, you leave my girlfriend alone (Montana joke). Oh, and fuck Martha Stewart, she has fucked up enough women on this planet. She is just a stupid capitalistic man with a pussy.
*Slams door shut*
"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
Hey, have a great day, simply and peacefully, hugs…. BBC
11 comments:
The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly ordered the few remaining customers, the tellers, clerks, and guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor, behind the counter.
One nervous blonde pulled off all her clothes and lay down on the floor facing upwards.
"Turn over, Cindy!" whispered the girl lying beside her... "This is a stick-up not an office party."
A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the United States Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seemed that, after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated, then let loose again...and thus the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's association by Sierra Club
and USFS.
Well, all the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old country boy in the back stood up and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem." These coyotes ain't fuckin' our sheep....they're eatin' 'em."
Last time I watched Martha she was having a real obsessive compulsive day. She kept talking about precise recipe measurements and controlled placement of the clay beads and it raised the hackles on my neck-literally, prickled me with fear. I had to change the channel. She isn't even bossy in a cool kind of a dominatrix way-cause there is something so needy about her as well. *****shudder*****
Shoot, when I make biscuit or pizza crust mix I just toss things in a bowl, they always turn out fine.
and controlled placement of the clay beads
I've been collecting sand, pebbles, little bits of driftwood and such at the beaches to make a sort of 'Zen Garden'.
When I get around to making it I'm not going to be too picky about it, nature is random and in that way creates interesting views and such.
Oh, those twins. Best wedding shot ever.
And yes, watching Martha makes me too nervous--she's the most unbelievably repressed control freak, and is completely unable to hide it. It's like her extreme self-control is out of control, you know? It's controlling her now, if you see what I mean. That's the paradox of the controlling personality.
A mowing sheep, now why didn't I think of that!
*Slams door shut*
Oh man, the picture...
"my young daughter squatting in the front yard taking a leak – Because “It’s boring in the bathroom.”"
That's why bathroom libraries are a necessity! I'm campaigning for a DVD and CD player as well, but it's not looking good at the moment... Maybe if I took a a shit out in the yard.....
nude weddings, i'm all for it!
wonder who's been ditracting you lately?
Wow, they're not a particularly attractive pair either. Bet you don't even wanna kiss em.
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