More Tips

Tips From the Redneck Book of Manners
DINING OUT

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

DATING (Outside the Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back sodas.

5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
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Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'
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You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change. - Les Brown
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The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump.
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Columbia, Tennessee, which calls itself the largest outdoor mule market in the world, holds a mule parade headed by the Governor.
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A man sped down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, when he passed a patrol car, it pulled out behind him, lights flashing. The police officer handed him a citation, took the driver's signature and was starting to walk away when the man said, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. Plenty of other drivers around me were going just as fast. Why did I get a ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked. "Um, yeah ..." the startled man replied. "Ever catch all the fish?"
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Kirsten….. Try to understand and keep up, I don’t need anymore beers. I just think at different levels than many people do. And of course I worry and fuss a lot. To me it’s not about us, it’s about the world. :-)
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Dear diary: IGS still had eggnog on sale so I bought another quart. Then I got a wild hair up my butt to make eggnog french toast. I took Helen some also, it is very good. In looking at the weather around much of the planet I see plenty of problems. But the weather here in Gods country is still pretty mild for winter, some rain, but it brings new life.