Q. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
A. Hi God, you piece of shit.
Q. How much cash do you have on you?
A. $ 42.30
Q. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
A. Whore
Q. Do you label yourself?
A. Cranky?
Q. Bright or Dark Room?
A. Bright
Q. Why is there always a missing question?
A. What question do you want answered? I can answer any question in the universe to my complete satisfaction.
Q. What does your watch look like?
A. Round, very plain, hangs on a belt loop.
Q. What were you doing at midnight last night?
A. Reading the news online.
Q. Where is your nearest 7-11?
A. None in this area.
Q. What’s a word that you say a lot?
A. Shit, fuck, goddamn.
Q. Who told you he/she loved you last?
A. Helen
Q. Last furry thing you touched?
A. My cat
Q. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
A. It’s digital
Q. Favorite age you have been so far?
A. That would have been about sixteen million years ago.
Q. Your worst enemy?
A. I don’t know.
Q. What is your current desktop picture?
A. On my computer? I don’t use one.
Q. What was the last thing you said to someone?
A. Thank you for buying lunch.
Q.The last song you listened to?
A. Don’t recall.
Q. What time of day were you born?
A. Don’t know, it’s not on my birth certificate.
Q. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
A. Seldom use them.
Q. Do you consider yourself kind?
A. Yes, and used a lot
Q. What’s your life motto?
A. To hell with the past, drop that baggage and keep looking forward.
Q. Name three things you have on you at all times.
A. Hair, skin, nails, and a bonus, balls.
Q. Can you change the oil on a car?
A. Yes, and I can rebuild the automatic transmission.
Q. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A. Don’t recall, they all have email.
About Me
- BBC
- Billy B Cook, born in Salt Lake City, Utah, 6-30-1943 (note that this date is smack in the middle of your calendar year) A powerful dream I had in 1997 resulted in my moving and starting on a strange and complex spiritual journey. Billy B Cook… BBC… Born Before Christ. Humans are so lacking spiritually even though they have many religions. Let’s get an understanding right from the git go, there is no all powerful god out there. We are god in evolution, and anyone that doesn’t understand that in this day and age has been as much as brainwashed by their teachers and mentors. We are the omnipresent spirit of this living planet and I'm tired of how they raise us here in our human forms. And at times I get angry and rant at and about others. Just call me Billy, you are as much of the living spirit of this planet as I am once you sort it out right.
3 comments:
But I have been thinking about writing a letter to the president of the local chapter of the Insane Chicks Society.
I kind of miss that little twit. Oh hell, I'm sure I'll get over it.
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world''s most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to see him.
So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside. "This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General''s voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.
The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted.
"I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.
"I see," the Head Scientist said. "But the Shrink Ray seems to be working perfectly."
Well done, Billy...
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