More fussing

About drinking. (Old but still funny at times)

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame, then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Boy threading a needle anymore is a pain in the butt, even using that little wire thing. The lady that I gave the kitten to has been exchanging emails with me and asked if Helen and I needed anything in the line of clothes as she was fixing to take a bunch to Goodwill. But we don’t need any, both of us tend to wear the same things over and over again until they are rags. I’m sure that except for undies and socks that I have more than enough clothes to last the rest of my life. I have brand new clothes that I haven’t even looked at for years. My ego doesn’t need that crap, I only put on good clothes when I go to town, sometimes, otherwise I just go looking like a bum.

But she did mention slippers and I have been wanting a pair so she dropped off a pair. Nice, they keep my toes warm, but have no backs, I call things like that flip flops. So I went to Rick’s shop and got a foot of good elastic to make straps to keep them on my feet. I had a hell of a time getting a needle threaded so I could sew it on to the slippers. It didn’t help that it was four am and I was still bleary eyed and waking up, but I need better glass’s also.

I have a mirror, its name is Sewmouse. I like some of her little phrases so well that I adopt them myself. It’s like I keep saying, I haven’t had an original thought for thousands of years. Ah, most of you don’t understand omnipresence.

Scott Adam’s is always fucking with his mind. Now it is with his bullshit vegetarian thing and our ‘design’ to be hunters. He is an atheist as far as I can tell, I wonder where he ever got the notion that we where a design. And what part of evolution he doesn’t understand. We evolved to eat what ever is handy in the environment we are in be it meat or vegetables or a combination of both. Vegetarians live no longer than those that eat some meat, it’s all a crap shoot so I eat what my body tells me it wants, to hell with studies that keep changing what we are supposed to think. Helen is 84 and likes meat and spuds and candy and she is still as sharp as a tack. Now give me that damn chocolate and no one gets hurts. Life isn’t about getting old, it’s about living life and getting to the end of it with a used up body. People that are always fussing about what they are eating and drinking are just reading too damn much when in truth no one really knows at this time. In due time scientists will get it all figured out better, and genetically engineered foods will be just fine also, should I mention evolution again?

The human mind is still evolving, many people actually are sharper after a few drinks. It’s when they drink too many that they start getting stupid. Now go enjoy your day and be peaceful you little monkeys. Hugs…. BBC