Yea, it's Pussy Friday

Good morning !! It’s Billy B. Doggy God here. You know what I’m going to be doing all day long? Licking my privates, sticking my nose in other doggie’s butts and all other disgusting things I can find to stick it in, and any disgusting thing I can find to roll in. And then, he, he, he, I’m going to slobber all over your face. He, he, he.

A dog can go ape shit in a house and make a mess and be forgiven, but a man isn’t. What is with that? Hell, I don’t toss clothes around and chew on her underwear. I even cook and wash dishes. Not fair.

Anyway, the pussy Gods here at Polly’s Honky Tonk Saloon and Whorehouse had a decent week. They spend most nights out carousing around being slutty and having a good time. Hunting was good with the bagging of three strays that wandered by, yum, yum. Hey, any dog that is loose must be a stray, and therefore fair game for Shish-kabobs, the pussy God’s have to eat also.

Not sure what they are going to do with that old toothless half blind three-legged ally scrapper mongrel though. Keep it around for a chew toy it seems. Hell, cats need amusement too.

WATER & WINE EDUCATION
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we Would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli bacteria found in feces. In other Words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) Because alcohol has to go through a distillation Process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk shit .. Than to Drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable Information. I am doing it as a public service.

I’ve been to Canada quite a few times, but maybe never again. I’m not going to bother to get a passport just on the off chance I might want to go again. Pretty country, nice people, but I really have no need to go there. And boarders are so frigging stupid, the world is evolving backwards.

I bought a nice three foot long forty caliber blow gun, it was on sale for 75% off, so was under five bucks. And some short darts. I can target practice in my room during cold days. Then I can get some soft balls and go to Beer Church and pop people on their butts. LOL… It also has an adapter that allows paint balls to be used in it with a tube that you put the balls in. Those fancy plastic thumb tacks that they use on bulletin boards shoot through it just right for practice. I’ll make some heavy darts so I can harass that coon that comes by to harass my pussy’s. Coon’s are cat killers.

So Art Buchwald died, now there was an interesting and entertaining man. He died like I intend too. Looking at it with interest and writing about it. Unless of course some unexpected event takes me out suddenly. Say a car wreck or some nut blowing me away. Ah, the nut would be okay, that might make the front page. Buchwald said in numerous interviews after his decision became public that he was not afraid to die, that he was not depressed about his fate and that he was, in fact, having the time of his life.

Among his more famous witticisms: "If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it." Despite his successes, the perennial funny man said he battled depression in 1963 and 1987. He once joked about deciding not to commit suicide out of fear that The New York Times miss the story….. LOL

Kristen, God sees the first chapters of your book as your attempt to rewrite biblical history and wants to know why you would do such a thing? I knew it, that I could retire. Kristen has ‘God’ given powers and is going to fix the world. Cool hey? Now I can just kick back and enjoy the rest of my mortal life here. Ah, wait, it’s just fiction like is in the bible, just rewritten is all. Damn, well, I’m still going to take a vacation and let her see if she can fix this worlds mess. I wish her luck.

Wait Kirsten, you wrote about past lives (I’m assuming you think they were yours) but you didn’t write about when you were Mary.

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat." "But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!" The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

Anyway, have a day nice all. BBC