It's Sunday already?

People that have been visiting this blog for a while know that they will not get a Sunday sermon or service here, even though I am a card carrying minister. That card is just bullshit, a course I took, to satisfy some government requirements. It makes me look more important in certain circles. If you are new here and want to see how a Sunday service should be to you go to my blog post of
http://bbc98362.blogspot.com/2006/10/sunday-fellowship.html
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Sparkles Spanked Me.
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Well, not really, not that I would mind that, but she asked for me to revile eight things about myself. I’m so open on my blog that there isn’t much I haven’t reviled about myself. But no new visitor has time to go through all of the old blog posts. And there are a few things I can come up with I suppose, maybe even more than eight. And some of them haven’t been mentioned before
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My first sexual experience (other than with my hand) was at the age of twenty, in the front seat of a 1954 Plymouth Station Wagon, with a lady I barely knew. I was on leave partying with friends in a town that I used to live in.
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I’ve cut my own hair for years. I pick my own nose and scratch my own butt. But I’ve patted others. :-)
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I’ve been married five times. Three times where short ones, two times were to the children’s mother. Haven’t been married to anyone since 1987.
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When my wife died, ex wife actually as we were divorced again, my daughter was living with me as her mother was being a Hitler.
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My son is adopted, he came with the wife.
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I had a daughter with my first wife that I haven’t seen since she was very young. She was adopted by the man that married her mother, fair enough.
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Before moving here I lived for twelve years with a woman 18 years older than me. It was the most stable relationship I’ve ever been in. (No, it wasn’t like a mother thing, she just really liked sex. :-), Well, she was a pretty good woman also.)
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I was beat a lot as a child, I never beat my children.
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My wife would beat on me until I would hit her back. I once spent ten days in jail for that.
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Many of my female friends are much older or younger than I am. Many women around my age are really screwed up. The few I do get along with well are the smartest of the lot.
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The biggest mistake I may have ever made was the decision to move back in with family when I was about eleven. Before that I was a high grades student with an above average IQ for that age.
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The dumbest thing I may have ever done, was stay there until I went into the Navy.
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I did not fucking take dads cigarettes, my brother did, I just got the whipping for it.
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I sure got good at hot-wiring the cars though. :-)… No wonder I went on to become a master mechanic.
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I would walk to the next town picking up bottles out of the ditch and redeem them at the tavern. Walk back home on the other side of the highway picking up bottles from that ditch, redeem them at the grocery store, go back in the evening and steal them and sell them to the tavern. Hey, it’s fucking called capitalism. LOL
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The Catholic priest was on my paper route. Always gave me a good tip. Told me it wouldn’t buy a hooker but it would buy a good cigar. It was a fucking mining town, why wouldn’t the cheap son of a bitch give me enough for a hooker? Not that I would have known what to do with her at sixteen, I thought a pecker was for pissing on rocks and bugs. Or writing in the snow.
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Spotted on a ladies blog, a beautiful new word. Godfuckingdamnit. Wow, it was getting late in the day, I was beginning to worry that I wasn’t going to learn anything that day, and she came through for me.
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Okay you Yahoo’s at Lusty’s, I have some things to say to you. Hippo, like I’m supposed to care if I piss off your right wing Christian friends that are fucking this planet up? Just ask me if I give a fuck, you dip shit. You, you…. Pussy.
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Lusty seems to think that I insult everyone, but she doesn’t see the trend. I only insult stupid bullheaded right wing Christians, and a few other complete bullheaded idiots. I’ve never said anything but nice things to her and about her. If she doesn’t see that, well, fuck it, I won’t comment on her blog anymore. I have plenty of friends in my own and others blogs to play with.
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Just because I’ve said that I love you, Lusty, it doesn’t make me a pervert, so don’t take it out of context. It’s not my fault if your other friends don’t say it, that you are not used to seeing it. It’s not, “I love you and want to have sex with you. It’s I love you because you are you.” You didn’t see Jlee freaking out just because we told each other that we love each other and use sexual innuendoes between each other at times. I love you, so just fucking get over it.
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You didn’t expose me, you have never understood me, and you don’t know me. You don’t even know yourself yet.
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It isn’t just politics with Jennifer, it’s also about her stupid right wing Christian beliefs. And any of you that don’t completely agree with her will just piss her off. The current thread on your blog makes that pretty clear. Yes, Jennifer, please do, throw your fucking computer out the window, thank you very much. You won’t let anyone love you anyway. If I can’t tell someone I love them without them freaking out, well, screw them, screw all of you. Like Ron said, go look in a fucking mirror.
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Yes, Jennifer, I have been a truck driver and in 48 states and a third of Canada. I’ve also been a service manager, master mechanic, inventor, builder, business owner and many other things that you will never be, so what? Get over it and yourself.
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Okay, some humor now.
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It's 3:00 A.M. and Goldie wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. "Morris, why can't you sleep?" she asks him. "You know our next door neighbor, Sam. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it's due tomorrow morning and I don't have the money. I don't know what I'm going to do." Morris replies. Goldie gets out of bed and opens the window. "Sam!" she shouts, and several times more, "Sam! Sam!" Finally a very groggy Sam opens the window opposite her and yells back, "What, what is it? It's 3 AM, what do you want?" Goldie says, "You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn't have it." She then slams the window shut and turns to Morris and says, "Now you go to sleep and let Sam pace the floor."
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"The Wal-Mart chain is refusing to sell a book written by WWF superstar Mankind because the book contains a picture of a naked elf. Everywhere Wal-Mart shoppers are asking themselves the same
question, "What's a book?"
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That TZ, what a funny guy: The guy who delivers our office supplies has a heavy Portuguese accent, and when he saw the National Geographic video about seals sitting on the table he smiled broadly and
shouted, "Foka! Foka!" "No," I said, "If you fuck one of those in this country I'm pretty sure you'll go to prison on some 'humping and endangered species' charge." "No, no, no," he said quickly. "Foka mean 'seal' in Portuguese." "I see," I said pointing to the big seal next to the little seal in the picture. "So I'm betting that that's the mother foka?"
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There was a great eruption of a south Sea island volcano. The witch doctor appealed to the tribal chief, demanding that a virgin be sacrificed to appease the volcano. The chief apologized, "I've used up all the virgins myself, so I guess we'll just have to get used to the noise."
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Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out; since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a
solution. Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times. The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my penis two hundred and fifty times.
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Have a peaceful Sunday all, go now in love and peace… BBC