Lucky Me

A man is at the dentist's for a check-up. As the dentist leans over, he asks, "So I see you had oral sex this morning?"

"How did you know?" asks the man, embarrassed but also amazed at his dentist's perception. "Was it the smell on my breath?"
"No," says the dentist.
"Well, did you see a pubic hair caught in my teeth?" asks the man.
"No," says the dentist.

"Well, what then? How did you know?" asks the man, losing patience.
The dentist says, "There's a little bit of shit on the end of your nose."

Lucky me
When we went to the drag races in Forks Sunday we went in Rick’s Mercedes, don’t be impressed, it is a cheap and older 86 model, he got it for twenty-five hundred bucks. We are thinking of putting some kind of a V-6 in it. But I did drive it there and back and I did like how it rode and drove.

So I left my pickup at home, with the windows rolled up all the way. It was such a nice sunny day that it got pretty warm in it. When I buy a carton of cigarettes they give me a free lighter, I don’t use them, just put them in the glove box or the ashtray with the quarters that I keep there and give them to others if they need one.

So it got warm enough in there that one of them built up too much pressure and blew up. Blew a couple of other lighters and some quarters out of the tray. Good thing there wasn’t a spark at the same time, it might have made it very interesting for a while, my pickup might have been a crispy critter by the time someone noticed it and got the fire department there.

To Invent
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. - Thomas A. Edison
That’s me, I have a good imagination and a pile of junk, and a forty-year collection of tools and equipment. I’ve done some inventing in the past, but never seem to find to do it since moving here. Well, I did make a really cool 35 speed three wheel recumbent bike a few years back, but that is all. I’ve made a few little things to improve my life, or allow me to live cheaper, but I would like to get back to working on some of my alternate power designs and ideas.

An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. - Charles F. Kettering

This is true, I’ve never taken my formal education to seriously, even though some of it has been pretty useful to me. But the most important education I get is what I get daily through experiences and observations.

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. - Sir William Osler

William should have said that the evolving God is interesting in making medicines in order to improve that which is part of him/her seeing as the original design is flawed in ways.