Stop that shit

Stop talking about religions damn it. Stop reading about and studying them, stop teaching them to the children. If for thousands of years you idiots haven’t figured it out how do you except them too? Damn it, just knock that shit off. The next woman from a church that knocks on my door and wants to teach me about God, I’m going to ask her if she wants to have sex with God. I can smell the smoke from the tires already.

Love seat

I have an old love seat out in the yard, both sides recline. I like to go sit in it at times, drink some coffee or a beer, maybe take a nap, soak up some of the suns rays.

It was a beautiful morning yesterday so I went out to sit in it for a while at nine am. The sun was really nice and I decided that little Willie would like some of it, so I pulled him out through that pain in the butt flap in my Fruit of the Looms to let him enjoy some of it and he was really enjoying it. Maybe worshipping his creator and the sun that she also created.

Then I got to thinking about the insane chick and the next thing I know little Willie is big Willie. We had our own sundial effect going there. Anyway, we went into the house and had an out of body experience with the insane chick. The enjoyment without the bullshit ya know. The women on this planet sure cheat themselves out of a lot of good times with all their hang-ups.

Karma
I love karma, don’t you? Present karma that is. If these chicks are going to drive me nuts, I’m going to drive them nuts also. So I sent her some emails, here are some of the things I said being as I know it will make her squirm, especially talk about sex. Some things she said to me are in blocks and of course I felt obliged to reply. This is pretty personal, but hey, I’m a pretty open guy.

[You shouldn't feel hurt.] …. I’m a very intelligent and complex man and I’m entitled to my feelings, that you did in fact encourage even though you now deny it. Who gave you the right to decide what I think and what my emotions can be?

[The doors I opened to you did not include intimate relations] ….You where thinking of that also and if you deny it you are lying to yourself. But you are the queen of denial.

[YOU may have considered yourself a potential partner, but I never accepted or rejected you at that level.] …..Who are you? Are you the president of the local chapter of the Insane Chicks Society?

[Yes, you are lovable and kind, and you don't necessarily talk too much, but you don't listen about email boundaries.] ….You just keep yapping about that but you have never made it clear what the boundary is, ever think about that? If you have a frigging boundary you have to define it, don’t you think? It is not fair to me to just yap about it, define it !! What is acceptable? One, two, three a day, what? How many times a day can I send you something telling you that I would rather be brushing your hair? Or not, if you don’t want me brushing your hair just say so. I’m a big boy, I can deal with it.

[So you should not feel hurt.] You had better stop telling me what I can feel or cannot feel, or I will turn you over my knee and spank your cute little butt.

[The object of my suggestions is to get the women to pursue you, and then you can make your choice(s).] …..Women do that all the time, and I did make my choice (Why am I attracted to bubble heads?). So I was at this ladies place (your place as a matter of fact) doing some remodeling for her and minding my own business, other than being my warm self, when she called me one evening and asked me if I wanted to go do something with her. A few days later when I was done for the day she asked me if I wanted to stay and hang out some with her. I didn’t take her up on those offers at the time, then after working there longer I started really liking her, even though she is a bubble head in some ways. So I’m thinking I’m going to move her on my love scale from a one to a two, maybe we can take it up to a ten. Good thing I only moved you one notch, up to a four would have blown your mind. We went and did other things together, and when you wasn’t freaking out we had a lot of fun enjoying each other. You lead me on and encouraged me in other ways also. And I CAN point out all the ways. You are of course are going to deny all this aren’t you? What with you being the president of the Insane Chicks Society, apparently with the intention of driving me nuts. But you WERE chasing me. You WERE interested and trying to attract my interest, and it did work, you did get it.

Now she wants to get into a control thing because that is what insane chicks do.

[So, as to #1. Quit smoking] …..Why? Because after we make love the whole neighborhood will want a cigarette.

[or drinking – ] ….So yesterday afternoon I went over to Rick’s shop and had a wonderful time bullshitting with the guys, and I suppose I drank an extra beer or two. So what are you going to do about that? Are you going to spank me? Look, I didn’t judge you because you smoke pot, and I don’t appreciate you judging me because I drink some. We all have our Prozac of choice while dealing with this world. I lived with Marie for twelve years and she didn’t fuss about my smoking and drinking even though she didn’t smoke or drink. We never went to bars very often unless it was for dancing, or in Utah because the bar had the best steaks in town. But I did drink at home. I mostly prefer to drink at home because it’s cheaper and I’m mostly a homebody anyway. I do like to go to bars some now, for the company of others there that I know and like because I’m single and need company. And some of them see me as their minister as they don’t go to churches so I give them spiritual guidance. And sometimes I meet very interesting people and learn interesting things.

[and don't even think for a minute that you can cheat on these.] ….You know, you are starting to sound like a wife. I’m too honest and transparent to try to hide something, that just complicates things, if I’m doing something I’ll admit it. Are you lecturing me young lady? Because if you are I’m going to come over there and spank your cute little butt.

[Exercise every day. After six months, you WILL be a different person.] ….Where in the hell did this come from? What do you know about my exercise? I have a hundred dollar bill in my desk drawer and I’m willing to bet you that I get more exercise, can out work you, out hike you, and still have the energy to make love to you until you have climaxed two times, so why don’t you just get over yourself? Um, I think, I haven’t had sex with a woman for six years but I’m sure I’m still up to it. Well there was an attempt with that spoiled little brat Catholic bitch last year but it was a bust. I have a slow hand and a gentle touch and I’m not in any hurry but she was in a hurry, and demanding. Twenty years ago I could have got right into that but I’ve evolved above that (or maybe I’m just stupid). She didn’t want to hold my hand, didn’t get the spiritual part, just wanted me to screw her, I couldn’t get up. So I put my clothes back on and said "Ok, I’m done, was it good for you?" Pissed her off, she hasn’t spoken to me since. So maybe you don’t want to get in that contest with me, or accuse me of not having energy. And don’t you go whining because I talk about sex some, and use some humor, you can’t know how I am unless I do talk about it some. Everyone that knows me knows that I like to talk about sex, just like anyone else, but that I don’t do it even when I get offers as that is reserved for ‘her’.

[In my observation, you have maintained your health, but you don't present as having a healthy lifestyle. I have the impression that you have beaten yourself up one way or another for a long time.] …. In some ways I have beaten myself up, I have good genes and my body can take it pretty well. Sure, I’ve been down a lot of dirt roads. Has it ever occurred to you that those adventures gave me interesting experiences and perspectives and helped build my unique character? I think it’s safe to say that I’m seldom boring, and that I find many things interesting. Life is here to experience and live it and I have. Or do you prefer boring men? You’ve beaten yourself up in some ways also, we all do.

[That has to change. Women "get" that kind of thing immediately and react.] …. Not all women, you really shouldn’t generalize them like that.

[#2) Do your research, lot of observation and conversation BEFORE you make any moves, or state any intention at all. That's what the good women are doing -- lots of observation and interaction before they form an intention.] …. (She is telling me to do that but It’s actually what she is doing, insane chicks speak backwards)…. Are you saying that you are a good woman? Can I get the opinions of others before accepting that? I know that others have told you that I’m a good man. Blah, blah, blah, they where long emails, I won’t put it all in here, only enough to make my point that I have now driven her even more insane, turn about is fair play I always say. Hell, we kicked around for two months and she couldn’t even hold my hand yet? At that rate it would take ten years to get her in bed, life is too short to put up with that kind of woman. Boy, ya gotta love karma.

I haven’t seen or heard from her since, I’m guessing that she’s huddled down in a far corner of her closet, and afraid to come out into the world for fear that I might be there. Hi Hon….. Boo!! Actually, not hearing from her, that is a gift, maybe the best one she could ever give me. But it does irritate me when a woman is not considerate enough to say that she is not going to communicate with me anymore.

Another thing she said in an email was that she is emotionally cautious. Bullshit, she is a paranoid psychotic emotional train wreck that thinks all men are out to get her, and that all they want from her is sex. Well excuse me, but isn’t sex supposed to be part of the package? Otherwise there is no point in men and women having anything to do with each other.
I fully understand that there are things in her past that are unresolved, but I’m not the man that did them to her. She needs to learn how to let that all go and get over it or she isn’t going to be able to have a good relationship with any man. I offered to help her with it some but she thinks she needs help from no one, so be it.

The last time I bought a pack of shorts I got Hanes instead Fruit of the Loom. Obviously men shouldn’t shop for their own shorts because we are unrealistic idiots that don’t know shit about shopping for clothes. Maybe that’s why Einstein didn’t wear socks, too much trouble finding the right ones. Now I’m wondering if he wore shorts.

The Hanes size chart is different than the Fruit of the Loom one. When I buy Fruit of the Loom I buy the 32-34 size and they are always the right fit. So I grabbed a pack of Hanes 32. Now I understand what Phillis Diller, and I guess all women, go through to put on a girdle. I question why they even bother, when all they really want is for a man to take it off, maybe they are into pain and torture.