Doing Ralph’s and Karen’s wedding yesterday was fun, it was at the Junction tavern, or as I call them, a Beer Church. It happens that I know Karen’s folks, her mother is in a lot of the plays that I go see. And her father goes to the peace protests. I knew a lot of the people but there were folks there I didn’t know and getting a little aquatinted is always fun. If they ask if I’m the minister I say something like, “I’m the officiant, but I’m really just here to get drunk.” Lines like that are usually good for a laugh.Yet another person has requested that I don’t comment on her blog. Says that some of my comments are negative, instead of seeing them as another viewpoint. What ever, I’ll do her the favor of not even reading her blog, she is just another spoiled neurotic christian anyway, and never fusses about the wars, people starving, things like that. I always test spoiled people too much sooner or later.
I have lots that I would like to post today but I think I will just stick with this.
Everyone is always quoting someone else. Well, I’m going to quote me.
We are God in evolution. – Billy B Cook
7 comments:
Winai... Sure it's my real phone number. Not my cell phone, but my land line.
But it doesn't do the cranks and wackos any good to call me, I never answer the phone, that's what answering machines are for.
I'll call them back if there is a need to talk to someone.
Examples of Why Our Country is in the Trouble it is....
Might explain a lot!!!!!!!!!
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went really fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom? I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times
and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said,
"Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino
anywhere. "The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a
big animal".
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!
Sewmouse, it’s funny how our eyes plays tricks on us at times. I noticed your link to One world-Everyone eats. I thought it said, One world-Everyone farts. LOL…. But that would be a great blog. By the way, if God is so smart why do we fart?
At the wedding I was standing out on the deck talking to some folks when a dude comes out, spots me, and starts laughing like hell. He thought my spiritual robe outfit was very funny. Shoot, I wear it at all kinds of events. But I’ve got a good sense of humor, so I point at him and start laughing. He is tall, over six feet, skinny, and a biker dude all dressed up in leathers and such. It was okay, he didn’t offend me, we got along great.
Women always get mushy at weddings and three of them (single) came by to talk to me. Each time it got around to why I don't have a mate. I just explain that they don't get my spiritual journey so like it or not, I have accepted that I will be alone the rest of my life.
One lady said, "Well train her". Yeah, right, like you could get one to listen, I've tried that.
And too many women are too damn needy, I like women with simple needs, like Helen.
Dont comment on my site anymore BBC, you are TOO positive. You need to be more negative.
=-P
You better watch out people like Kirsten have trackers/counters. I don't know why people have them.
Air travel is fun ... While I was in line with all the monkeys waiting to go through customs in China a couple of years back a USA guy asked me where I was from Australia I replied OH do I need a passport to go there ,,, Yes I said you dont own the country yet! was my reply!
OH and I am so not needy Mr
trackers/ counters are for the retentive in all of us that likes to know shit.
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