That bastard

That bastard, my apple tree was getting to big so last year I trimmed it way back. I mean way back, people told me I might kill it doing that. Ha !! It laughs at me every time I look out at it. I swear, it’s way bigger than it was before I trimmed it back last year. It’s a frigging monster even though it’s been a dry summer here. Never mind that I pour some urine at its base, that isn’t enough to water a tree. Next year I expect it to take over the whole property and force me out of this place. Don’t tell me that nature can’t whip our butts, but I’m not giving up yet, I don’t like the idea of Mrs. God whipping Gods butt, anyone got a chainsaw? Never mind, I love that tree, but has anyone got any dynamite? I think it’s a Bush.

Is your phone line tapped? You know, by the government? Wouldn’t that be cool? We can all start calling each other and talking dirty to each other so they have something to listen to while they masturbate. Maybe get a whole conference call thing going with about twenty people.

Good old Badtux @ http://badtux.net/
He made a post about automobiles and riding his motorcycle. The words that struck me where "Every time I mount my bike." My, my, what are you doing over there Tux? LOL

My date tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered, "Baaa."

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.

How true, tell them the truth and they can’t believe it. Einstein had the same problem.
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/9chickweedlane

Cute comics, ah, eye contact.
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/nonsequitur
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/overthehedge

LAFAYETTE, La. - Willie Nelson and four others were issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway, state police said.

Go Willie… I don’t smoke pot but I don’t care if you do. You rock man. I sing On The Road Again at karaoke at times.

The coffee filter did it again, called me at 9:15 last evening. If he has anything to say to me he can send me an email or post it on my blog, I want anything he has to say in text, I like everything recorded.

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

I think the world is run by 'C' students with college degrees making them look a lot smarter than they really are.

Last week my I purchased a new computer. I ran into some difficulties while setting it up so I called the customer support phone number in the manual. I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him. He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused me even more. "Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?" "Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"

CAIRO, Egypt - Al-Qaida in Iraq warned Pope Benedict XVI on Monday that its war against Christianity and the West will go on until Islam takes over the world, and Iran's supreme leader called for more protests over the pontiff's remarks on Islam.

Well, there you go. I want those parts of me dead also. Some Muslims are just plain idiots and make life very difficult for the more advanced ones. Like I’ve said before, make the Christians and Muslims with their insanities go fight each other on some remote island and leave the rest of us alone. One thing I’m not clear on, do Muslims practice greed as much as Christians do?