Troll Fan Club & World Peace

Ha, ha, ha… I’ve collected two trolls, at least, it’s hard to tell how many trolls a controversial blog might have, and they both live in my area being as I’ve identified them because they make stupid mistakes. I’m going to start a frigging troll fan club. Hi guys, how ya doing buddies? Yeah, I do like to fuck wit you, it’s fun because you think you are geniuses. Ah, don’t pay any attention to that telescope trained on your places, I just like to know when you’re home. I knew I would find a use for it someday. Geez you guys are ugly, can’t you at least close the blinds? Ha, ha, ha.

My excellent team of analysts know why the trolls leave short messages. They type with one finger and that is slow going, and we all know what they are doing with the other hand. I know these two crackpots, they live in my area, they think about various women while they masturbate and then get online and call the rest of us sick, isn’t that funny? The difference is that we are honest about what we are and do. Some of these nuts even have carpet burns on their knees. So I’m fixing up a care package for my troll fan club. Let’s see, new coffee filters, K-Y Jelly, um, condoms? Na, I’ve never heard of unsafe sex with a hand, unless it’s physical damage, or abuse. Do you have any other suggestions?

I know four men that have read way to many books, about many heavy things including almost all the religions. Maybe five counting Dr. John, but I don’t really know him personally. Having just checked his two blogs I see that he is a plump old pastor with what I’m sure is a comfy position and plenty of benefits and money. I almost got that calling once myself back when I was a trustee in a church and saw how well they really do, the cons. Dr. John admits on his blog that he is stupid though. Note these words on one of his blogs. "If your looking for a deep philosophical blog that clarifies the meaning of life this is not the blog. This is a blog written by an old man in his second childhood whose wife wants him to stay out of the way." That is exactly what I would expect from a pastor that is supposed to have the answers for his flock. Oh, wait, am I being snide? Well, how would he know? BTW. I also noticed on his blog that Miss 1999 has become Miss Fat 2006. Christians sure like to spoil themselves, bah on them.

After many books a mans brain no longer belongs to himself, it’s just a big confused mess. Of the four men I know like this, two of them know that they are crazy and we get along great and have interesting discussions with each other. They have pretty decent shit filters and operate well out in public. The other two are crackpots that have trouble dealing with others and have the social skills of piranhas. Wait, that statement isn’t fair to the fish. They where issued coffee filters. I consider them harmless though, unless one more neutron in their brains shorts out.

As for a plan for world peace, and I don’t see that being possible unless there is only one religion, or belief (I’ll discuss that more later), why don’t we just all become Muslims? Really, I gave this a lot of thought yesterday. Hell, we all know that they want to convert everyone to Islam, and will even kill anyone that doesn’t want to do that. The extremists anyway. Many so-called Muslims really aren’t, they just pretend to be in order to stay alive and get along, like Christians do. But lets face it, they are not any better at their religion than any other religion. They are not in a collective agreement what it is, or they wouldn’t have different sects. And they don’t really live what they say they believe any better than any other religion.

So lets do this, become Muslims and start our own sects. (Picks up and keys mic) Greetings ladies and gentlemen. It is almost the time of day to worship Allah, and the friendly management and staff here at Hooters invites you to worship with us. We apologize that Allah won’t be on stage (strategically located so that everyone is facing the proper direction) again today, but that rather difficult case of clap is keeping her away from her duties. We are sure however that you will be pleased with her fill in, Lusty Tart. What the hell, with the veil and the tent it’s not like you will ever know the difference anyway. Lusty !! Please close the flap !!

And once again we would like to remind the gentlemen that like to say "Praise to the hooters" to please whisper in case there are any extremists around.

BUDAPEST, Hungary - Mounted police charged bottle-hurling protesters outside Socialist party headquarters early Wednesday, another night of violence touched off by the prime minister's leaked admission that his government had repeatedly lied to the public about the economy.

The American economy is a lie also, people just haven’t woke up to that fact yet. But boy, are they getting screwed.

LONDON (Reuters) - Surgeons in China who said they performed the first successful penis transplant had to remove the donated organ because of the severe psychological problems it caused to the recipient and his wife.

Did the rest of you read all of that news story? I swear, what a hoot. His wife didn’t like his new four inch dick. But it was only about ten days old, she should have given it a chance to heal. And why complain because it was swollen? I’ve been places where I wished….. Um, never mind.

Golf is so stupid, what has it got to do with one in a hole? Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.

Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Books are like listening only you are reading. There’s really no point in listening to other people, they’re either going to be agreeing with you, or saying stupid stuff (Thanks Scott). I will however keep writing and picking up the followers that agree with me. Or at least think that God is funny at times.

Argh !! I was one crummy day late making a Visa payment and got charged a $35.00 late fee. That will teach me not to screw around on the Internet so much and not pay my bills on time. God is such a fuck up sometimes.

Have a good day you monkeys, keep a sharp eye out for the coffee filters. Love and Peace. BBC